i have an unconfirmed subjective hypothesis that unaddressed issues often return to taunt and haunt one's conscience... this seems to apply micro-scopically... meso-scopically... and macro-scopically etc.
when violence is used as a means to end confrontation of real issues... it offers no resolution... and often more suffering and hatred. we just don't seem to learn?!?!?... or that the survival of the fittest gene is just too potent compared to the altruistic cousin? and more generations of sacrifices are needed to rid that once-useful (?!) mutant?!
in any case... we can't just keep watching and do nothing?!?! this is so vexing... =(
-- more on Burmese situation...
what's goofy?! why do people (or some persons) in (US of) america say that word so often? particularly to me...?!
Merriam-Webster's definition is:
goofy
Main Entry: goofy
Pronunciation: 'gü-fE
Function: adjective
Inflected Form(s): goof·i·er; -est
: being crazy, ridiculous, or mildly ludicrous : SILLY
Compact Oxford English Dictionary provides:
goofy
• adjective (goofier, goofiest) informal 1 chiefly N. Amer. foolish; harmlessly eccentric. 2 having protruding or crooked front teeth.
— DERIVATIVES goofily adverb goofiness noun.
huh... am i really?!
hmm... now that's goofy.
i was off to the suburbs again! this time, it was for K's graduation party, and a wonderful excuse to catch up with her sister, C, parents, D & T, and sweet Bailey boy, the Irish terrier! high-school graduation parties, as i am told and am beginning to appreciate, are apparently a Minnesotan affair. i don't remember having one of these growing up... and suspect that anything vaguely similar would have to be a get-together outing that people do with friends during the vacation. no, i didn't ever have a high-school graduation party... the farewell dinner in Wales was something quite surreal... people were leaving in the night, bound for far-away places... many of whom i may never see again... i wonder if i might make it to my own 10-yr reunion! i sure hope so. in any case, the concept of graduation parties is a pretty interesting one... families have their own for their graduating child, and parents of students at the school collaborate to host one for the graduating class; the philosophy (at least part of it) behind it all is to (help) make sure that kids do not get into chemical-related trouble... i suspect the other bit of the apparent enthusiasm might be a Mid-western thing; it's a close-knit community and parents are very much involved in pretty much everything...
i often take so much of such parental-worries for granted. the childhood that me, my brothers, and my friends experienced, is probably one of the most sheltered you could probably have... then again, times have greatly changed. but i knew of the dangers and the 'stigmatisation' too of getting into that sort of things... yet, i am often awed by the enormous courage and trust that my parents have to let us flee their nests for the crazy western civilisation, aware of the potential 'harm' that we may encounter! then again, i know pretty well how rebellious i am particulary when it comes to asserting my own freedom!
ahh freedom... with it comes responsibilities; something i learnt, the hard way. the 'access' to freedom is part of growth... and celebration of life transitions is certainly a wonderful way to embrace these changes positively. 
there's nothing better to do so with family and friends; people who've watched you grow, and people who have been part of it too! i feel honoured to be part of the company at K's party... even though i don't particularly feel quite influential in any way... but it made me feel special to be able to share the family's friendship.
as the party trickled into the night, a bonfire was made in the garden pit... K, her friend H, D,T, C and i sat around the warm fire and shared experiences... i got to roast a marshmallow with C's help and let it sit on top of my brownie cake before enjoying it! B was briefly about trying to pick up a few scrapes of delicious left-overs. the moist after-rain night felt refreshing and earthy. there's something magical about a bonfire. it draws people in. its warmth is comforting... and the smell of burning firewood rekindles so many fond memories...
the late arrival of the abundance of snow this winter reminds me of the snowy wonderland experiences i had in germany... cycling on the fresh powder snow and sleighing down the Österberg hill, skiing and snowman-making. memories... precious indeed...
it has been quite a long time since i've been back to germany... so when an invited talk at a research lab in the former german east came up some time early this year, i took the opportunity to go, and to visit Berlin, a city i have heard so much about, but have never visited while i was studying in Tübingen.
i had quite an adventure getting to the east of germany... cancelled flights, re-routing, and lost baggage... the extreme temperatures in the usa made it impossible for the ground-staff at the airport to de-ice the planes... there were also a mishap that occured a few gates from where my flight was scheduled to depart... kind of freaky with a nwa-plane ending up on top of a baggage-loading truck. lots of commotion... i couldn't even begin to imagine if the driver was dead or badly injured... i really hope not. it was terribly awful...
when i arrived in Leipzig, i spent the first hours of my arrival in distress; my baggage didn't make it onto my connecting flights... wondering what i ought to do with myself for the next day when i was due to give my talk... instead of resting, i roamed the old town of Leipzig and blabbered in my somewhat rusty german to find something decent to wear the next day...
the germany i knew, unlike asia, or the uk, or the usa for that matter, has quite a tradition in his (yes, because germans call their country, fatherland) working hours... at least that was what i knew when i lived in swabia... to my surprise, though, Leipzig proved to be quite an anomaly... shops at the newly built Hauptbahnhof (train station), were in business till 10pm... upkeeping the city's known status as the oldest trading centre of germany in the era prior to WWII. i did find something at the Esprit sale rack and a pair of trousers... lingerie... toiletries... and something to eat.
one thing i really appreciate when i am in a different country, city or place, is the convenience of street stalls in asia, the little grocery stores and take-aways of britain, new york... yet, i do appreciate the weekday-work-and-weekend-rest ethos of central europe too... it's something that is quite sacred and guarded, and very rightly so.
in any case, i had a rather mixed experience in Leipzig... which may be reflected by the state of the city and its apparent appearance to an outsider, foreigner, like myself. i feel the great dichotomy of extreme warmth of the local people, particularly in helping me find what i needed, and showing me around, and yet, at the same time, a level of poshness by a few elites, the cold retail dominance post the fall of the Berlin-wall, and an erie sadness in the mixture of old Gründerzeit buildings, communist era (GDR) architecture, and modern signature glass structures. most of the orignal inhabitants are no longer living in Leipzig; fled to the west, in hope of a better future, while those from the west have slowly moved in, because of the relatively cheaper cost of living and progressively booming trade scene.
the old town of Leipzig is rather charming... famous churches (Nikolai -- where the reformation began; Thomas -- where J.S. Bach was the city's music cantor), old quaint little Kaffe-hause... market place, town-hall areas... if not for the bold and gaudy modern retail departmental stores, entertainment centre, offices etc. sprouting in place of the old buildings that do not seem to withstand the neglect of the communist episode. it is a fascinating on-going place of change and reshaping... not just the physical image of the city, but also its peoples identity...
Bach is honoured outside the Thomas Kirche, by Felix Mendelssohn, also a celebrity of the music city
i was perhaps more affected by the reception i had at the research lab... partly my own fault for assumming all reserach labs of the particular kind in germany, would be the same, and partly for having gotten used to the hospitality and causalness i've enjoyed in the many places i've been fortunate to visit and worked... it was a bit of a disappointment, too, in that the older generation researchers i spoke to had pretty set ideas of the way things should be done... or how one's path of research should be paved... i do admire people who have built a strong history of a particular background, but i also feel that a degree of open-mindedness to other related fields is just as important... particularly in neuroscience.
perhaps one crucial thing i did begin to realise was that no matter how much german language, cultural understanding, etc. i have gained in my past experiences, it was not going to be enough for me to be fully integrated in the society... no matter how much i love the fact that germans and the continental europeans are so much more culturally, philosophically, politically, and environmentally aware and involved in public discussion. it is a sad realisation that there are at times limits to complete assimilation... that there are perhaps practical reasons why people tend to choose places that share the same language and heritage in their decisions to emigrate... and perhaps age has taught me to be less adventurous than i had previously been.
nonetheless, i was grateful for the opportunity to share my work with those who seemed interested enough to ask provocative questions, and help me reflect on my work and ways to improve it... it was also good to have visited and to have explored the work ethos, atmosphere of the lab, and to decide if it would be for me, just as much as it was for them to consider if i might be suitable for the post. in the end, i am glad it was mutual, although a little un-nerving; one always end up feeling inadequate in some ways. (BTW: thanks for the well-wishes that was left on my earlier post!)
in any case, i have some great memories to keep; giving a talk in the Wilhelm Wundt lecture room is quite an honour, not just because he's considered the father of psychology, and neuroscience, but also because it happened to be located in the city he lived and taught; i got to visit Bach's place of work and creativity; and most fun of all, to visit Berlin with dear friend f, who met up with me in the east.
here are some of the places we visited during the day-trip to Berlin:
remnants of the wall, which used to run through Postdamer Platz, now the site location of Sony Center, Berlin. the colorful facade belonged to the west... behind in the skyline, are modern skyscrapers of PWC and DaimerCrysler bringing forward the financial and economic opportunities much needed for Berlin's re-emergence.
relics of the former east: traffic lights with walking green-man and stationary red-guy... an icon and symbol that marks what used to be parts of eastern germany. uniquely in Berlin, both western and eastern traffic lights co-exist. notice too, the old-fashioned german "ß" on the street sign, which also has a french accent!
Denkmal für die ermordeten Juden Europas -- Holocaust Memorial by architect Peter Eisenman.
while the sculpture has a sombre feel to it, i couldn't resist a peek from one of the towering stelaes. the labyrinth of undulating columns of differing heights have an erie feeling of isolation and incomprehensible desolation...
Brandenburg Gate... the symbol of Berlin and Germany... now surrounded by foreign embassies, most notably, the allied countries of the west, and Starbucks Coffee!
the German Parliarment: Reichstag; Dem Deutsche Volke -- "for the German Folk". it is usually uncommon for germans to display nationalistic tendencies; a post WWII-trait (something which i find endearing) ... this is probably the only place where you will see german flags been hoisted with pride... notice the long queue of humans snaking along the steps towards the entrance... we had to brave the freezing weather for about an hour to enter the building... but it was well worth it for the bird's eye view from the Dome (below), designed by British architect Sir Norman Forster, was simply wonderful.
the energy-saving mirror column within the Reichstag Glass Dome. the spirally walk-way brings visitors to the very top of the dome, rendering a spectacular view of the city... and a peek onto the ongoings of the debates within the parliarment... an epitome of an "open" parliarment.
police on horseback riding past the Swiss Embassy on the left and to the right, Chancellor Merkel's office, the Bundeskanzleramt.
the icon of former eastern propaganda -- the tv-tower... pretty cool space-like structure, if you ask me.
anyone who visits Berlin by train will be greeted by its impressive glass train-station... although it is enduring an engineering mishap, thanks to the last-minute changes to its design in order to shorten part of its roof structure so that it would be open in time for the 2006 world-cup. quite an un-german thing to do...
one important historical fact i learnt while in Berlin was that, the former split-city, was in the former east of Germany. such that west Berlin used to be an island in the east... i, ignorant me, had no idea of this rather ridiculous situation in which the western allies subjected themselves for nearly 50 years; the awkwardness and apparent chasm marked by the wall, must have been quite an experience. as the rebuilding continues to smooth the past historical differences and merge the two cities... one could not but notice the richness and charm that has continued to exist in tandem... i will have to visit Berlin again... some day. for there were so many other places of interests which i didn't manage to visit... particularly the museums and the option to listen to the Berlin Philharmonic Orchestra perform... hmm.
~ photos courtesy of the proud parents, john & lyn ~
my family welcomed a little bundle of joy on the 17 Oct. 2006... and i became auntie to this little adorable person, whom her parents (my big brother and lynette) name RAEANNE.
sadly, it will take me a couple of weeks before i get to say hello to her ... let's hope she will take to my quirkiness with positive enthusiasm! =C) ... and if all fails... erm... i have a fuzzy snoopy!
i read, watched, and listened in horror to some fragments of the terror that is being experienced in the middle-east... it is very distressing to watch a traumatized old man who's just lost his wife, home and hopes when the rockets/bombs fell... or to see families being separated in their attempts to escape... or civilians being injured, maimed, shredded...
it's just incomprehensible that everyone is relying on violence to get what they want... and they themselves are behaving like the terror they wish to curb.
all this madness... it will not end... it will not end... the pain... the pain...
Manjack home from the wars walked down the street ---
bent like a bow his body round its great scar ---
and held his head upright. I saw his eyes
flaring and fixed, a tiger or a dark star.
Pain, what ist it? The sycthe turned under the ribs,
the soft explosion in the belly that means death,
the hornet where were berries, the snake in flowers,
the ice about the heart, the lung that leaks its breath ---
that which drives out love, hunger, thirst or hate;
the trap that waits, the precipice past hope
upon whose edge we walk, how delicately ---
the loaded whip no shoulders can escape.
Pain, what is it? That which keeps alive
amoebae doubling from the acid; pain
that forces flesh to wisdom: hedge of swords
beside the road from protoplasm to man.
Pain that fierce darkness thrusting at all life
that drives it up to light; pain the black No
that knifes us in blind alleys; pain that can only say
You have chosen wrong; this is no way to go.
Manjack home from the wars walked down the street,
and in his flesh a fire that ate him lean.
Vision of famine, death with blazing eyes,
what shall we do to save ourselves from Pain?
~~~Judith Wright~~~
from Woman to Man, 1949, in Collected Poems
we mourn the poor bottle-nose whale that swam up the Thames, who didn't survive the rescue mission...
here, in pictures from the BBC, the rescue attempts.
looks like i am in for another spiel of circumstances... hope it will be resolved by the time i arrive!
it is hard not to find it personal when the actor of the protagonist in "The Constant Gardener" has a name that is pronounced the same way as that of a dear friend who was killed in a most unneccesary way almost a year ago and his (Ralph Fiennes) and his co-protagonist's (Rachel Weisz) roles in the film share some similarities with the kind of work R was involved in...
i never really understood how and what life is like working for aid agencies in Africa (and other parts of the world) despite hearing first-hand the kind of dangers, frustrations and incomprehensible bureaucracies that exist and are highlighted in the film... i could never really fully appreciate R's experiences... it seemed and still does, utterly remote and horrifying... i could, but then again i guess i couldn't, understand the passion that drives these aid-workers... and in comparison, my everyday struggles seem insignificant...
it's hard to describe it all succinctly and adequately... but the film gives a vivid dichotomy of the beauty of the african land and the misery of the people; their helpless yet changeable situations; the pharmaceutical powers that rule their lives and are yet dependent on these lives they 'sacrifice' and also the ruthlessness that is present in both the locals and the foreigners... do try to catch the film when it comes to a theatre/cinema near you... the issues raised are real and concern us all.
my first 'proper' rock concert experience is probably best summed up as 'ironic'... ?
coldplay performed at the Target Center's Arena on Tuesday evening... and f who's here to visit found tics for both of us last minute... i've not really got myself acquainted with their music but some of the tunes were familiar... and rather good... afterall, they seem to be the best-selling pop group at the moment...
yes, i came all the way to the USA to see a UK band perform here...!
the acoustics weren't brilliant in the arena that houses the NBA games... and many other musical events... what seemed perhaps a technical/engineering glitch was actually pretty tolerable from our seats which were located pretty high up but still had a decent view of the stage...
i was looking forward to the start of the show until 3 rather unruly behaved guys (probably just entered uni) came along and sat behind us... one of them was pretty 'high' on something... and they started to smoke... all was pretty tolerable despite their smoking and somewhat 'FRONTAL' behaviour -- (a neuropsychological term often used to refer to tendencies of disinhibition and inability to control ones tendencies for appropriate social contexts which are related to damage to the orbito-frontal lobes) -- of this one guy... until sometime during the performance,
1) he, being too hyper and excited, decided to stand on the top of the chairs in front of him... lost his balance and hit the guy in front of him before landing on the ground and then pissed that bloke off further with his pathetic attitude... (FYI: he could have had a really bad/fatal fall from that height if he was more frontal than he was!)
and then a little later,
2) that same twat decided to PEE onto the seats or wall near the back seats to relieve himself... whatever he did or wherever he aimed at... it was loud enough to be offended...
i was truly appalled by the disgusting behaviour... and decided to drag f down to the lower part of the area we were seated before f could try to get him to realise how disgusting he IS to no avail (given his mental state) and before we finally headed out during the last encore...
YUCK!!!!!
my first 'proper' rock concert experience is probably best summed up as 'ironic'... ?
coldplay performed at the Target Center's Arena on Tuesday evening... and f who's here to visit found tics for both of us last minute... i've not really got myself acquainted with their music but some of the tunes were familiar... and rather good... afterall, they seem to be the best-selling pop group at the moment...
yes, i came all the way to the USA to see a UK band perform here...!
the acoustics weren't brilliant in the arena that houses the NBA games... and many other musical events... what seemed perhaps a technical/engineering glitch was actually pretty tolerable from our seats which were located pretty high up but still had a decent view of the stage...
i was looking forward to the start of the show until 3 rather unruly behaved guys (probably just entered uni) came along and sat behind us... one of them was pretty 'high' on something... and they started to smoke... all was pretty tolerable despite their smoking and somewhat 'FRONTAL' behaviour -- (a neuropsychological term often used to refer to tendencies of disinhibition and inability to control ones tendencies for appropriate social contexts which are related to damage to the orbito-frontal lobes) -- of this one guy... until sometime during the performance,
1) he, being too hyper and excited, decided to stand on the top of the chairs in front of him... lost his balance and hit the guy in front of him before landing on the ground and then pissed that bloke off further with his pathetic attitude... (FYI: he could have had a really bad/fatal fall from that height if he was more frontal than he was!)
and then a little later,
2) that same twat decided to PEE onto the seats or wall near the back seats to relieve himself... whatever he did or wherever he aimed at... it was loud enough to be offended...
i was truly appalled by the disgusting behaviour... and decided to drag f down to the lower part of the area we were seated before f could try to get him to realise how disgusting he IS to no avail (given his mental state) and before we finally headed out during the last encore...
YUCK!!!!!
unlike many other countries in the world where May Day is recognised as the International Worker's Day, the people in the united states of america celebrate Labour Day today...
i spent the day at the Minnesota State Fair with daughters of a colleague from the lab (they were there as summer interns)... i was planning to go last Friday to catch the local The Writer's Almanac's Garrison Keillor perform at the Fair but no one seemed able to join me... i heard the film is coming out soon, so i'll have to check it out to see what it is all about!
everyone said i had to go and i had no idea what to expect... my constant queries led me to imagine something like what it is in "Charlotte's Web"... and i guess i wasn't all that wrong!
i did find a few little Wilbur-like piglets and lambs and calves and we also saw some wacky looking chickens... i wish they would have a horse-show today but most of the animals were ready to head home.
there is more fast food there than anything else... and the options are endless... from fluffy candies to foot-long hot dogs, fries... and from porkchops and grilled fish to spaghetti and meatballs on a stick... the latter was, i must proclaim after much deliberation, utterly disgusting! all these junk food... and all the waste they create... it is incredible! there was also an area which resembled a pseudo "Oktoberfest" with the beer-drinkers and stalls selling Bratwurst mit Kraut not far away... fun-rides tower and spin behind the scene and screams filled the air-space above.
the fair seems to be a place to display and showcase a mixture of local farming excellence, agricultural and horticultural produce, merchandise and handmade crafts... the latter included many beautiful patch-work quilts, cakes, breads, cookies and herby-oil infusions... quite amazing...
i guess it isn't anything quite like the Edinburgh Festival which is more cultural and artsy... but it was worth the experience...
and the ride down the Giant Slide was a good laugh!
the pictures from bbc show the devastation and destruction in Louisiana... not a pleasant sight... and i am feeling rather worried about potential tornados here in Minnesota... i've never seen nor experienced one before... but i have to watch out for strange looking clouds and green skies... apparently.
it's apparently at my door step! i learnt about it this morning when i decided to take the bus to work today since i needed go into the bank to tell the people at Wells Fargo to get things right!!! anyways, it is then that i realised that the main road junction near my apartment is closed for the preparation of the festivities...
(click on image)
i'll have to leave the lab early just to check it out... too bad i didn't see anything about ceilidhs nor bagpipers merry-making... bah... that's not a proper highland fest!
maybe i might pull myself out of bed to try the 5km walk/run on sunday... hmmm.
i did manage to get away from the flat afterall... after the whole blasting of water from the firemen... and sussing out the fault (some electrical fuse for the whole building's electrical supply somehow overloaded and the heat burnt through and melted some wires and casing... still smells dangerously bad in the corridor but at least it is fixed now) and them contacting the power supplier to come sort out the mess... i was given assurance that it would be okay to leave... so i made my way to the farmers market as i had intended... and tried to catch what was left of the day...
tucked behind the Edinburgh Castle, on Castle Terrace, the market presents to the visitor a whole array of choices... organic meats, organic veggies, organic wines, hand-woven woollen jumpers from the sheep's wool from someone's own farm... organic bread just baked in the morning... superb quality cheese and lush strawberries... hand made jams and soaps! i wonder why i never go to the farmers market... that's where you can get some of the best quality produce... check out the producers' list here
given the uncertainty of the electrical supply... i refrained from getting anything that needed refrigeration... so i limited my shopping to a lovely loaf of sour bread from Henderson's, a wee packet of shortbread from them too and a box of huge strawberries (from someone's farm -- i can't remember whose now) to bring to my dinner hosts tonight... and i couldn't resist trying a bit of roasted hog and stuffing in a bun from Reiver Country... (my apologies to the vegetarians out there!)
hmm... definitely not quite the same ambience as the fresh market places in the continent... which is more frequent and has a stronger feeling of locality (or perhaps the 'country-sided authenticity' that you don't get here)... but i still like it... it's nice to know that 'fresh' markets still exist apart from supermarkets...
i will definitely try to go again next weekend... for i am serious about getting some lovely fresh produce next time... and hopefully, there won't be another flat crisis to delay the trip again! (you must be thinking... she's such a frau...)
despite having lived in Edinburgh for a couple of years now... there're still many pockets of it which i've yet explored. today, i took my bicycle along the Union Canal, which is really not far from where i currently live...
water hens, mandarin ducks and swans could be spotted along the canal, busy with their spring bounty... and daring sparrows and silly flies (or were they midges?) flirt with death as they zip or hover across the path while cyclists, pedestrians and dogs venture through.
i couldn't help but find the path along the canal reminding me of that along the Nekar river in T?bingen, which is truly idyllic and beautiful in summer... i suppose the difference is that while there are canal boats here, wooden punts line the banks of the Nekar (T?bingen is sometimes referred to as the Oxford of Germany)...
despite the rare speckle of good weather, i didn't go all the way along the path... which would have taken me to Falkirk or Linlithgow... i suppose, alternatively, i could have carried my bike down the steep flight of steps onto the other path, The Water of Leith Walkway, and that would take me towards the botanical gardens... perhaps another day, i thought, when i have the company of a friend... so i turned around at that juncture... and headed back... on my way home, i passed by the canal boats again
and learnt that one of them is actually a cruising restaurant called Zazou, which seemed like a lovely place to dine if you have a group gathering... perhaps i could go there to celebrate after attaining my phd... if i ever will! i'll need 7 other diners to join me in this luxury treat... so let me know if you'd be interested!
this is quite a fun scene at Hunter Square... that ruth, ester and i were drawn to after our visit to the mesmerising exhibition of faces while we tried to find a place to have a cuppa. the bagpiper's rendition of fast scottish reels and the afro-hip-hop rhythms of the drummers made for a musical fusion feast for the ears (and eyes!)... a crowd soon grew and were reluctantly dispersed by the scattered showers that eventually stole the show.
you'd probably recognise the face of the Afghan girl with piercing green eyes that once covered an issue of the National Georgraphic magazine, even if you didn't realise that the photographer who captured the face is Steve McCurry, one of the world's best photographers who tries to bring the connectedness of humans through his pictures. as least, that was the case for me... i'd seen the face on his collection of portraits published by Phaidon but i couldn't remember who the photographer was until i was reminded of his name at the "Face of Asia: Steve McCurry photographs" exhibited at Edinburgh's City Art Gallery.
it is a wonderful collection of portraits and scenes... and often the intensity of the facial expressions could really tell you so much of the person's life. what skill, sensitivity and patience it must require to attain the quality of expressivity in his subjects, whether descriptively or metaphorically... what i find so amazing about photographs is how much they tell you about the subject and the photographer and in some other ways, the audience. this inter-connected-ness renders a beautiful role for well-captured photographs.
as i wandered about the gallery filled with his signature pieces, i found myself wondering perhaps what makes Steve McCurry's photographs powerful is because they capture more than the person or the places in which they live or flee... they capture the ironies of life too and the formidable human strength to overcome some of life's harshest conditions... they are themselves, life stories. it is life stories that touch... and this is how his photographs have connected people and how people reached out to those they do not know, to help.
i found myself taken to a photograph of an indian man wading through the flood left by a monsoon, water to his chin, him carrying his livelihood, an old sewing machine slightly submerged, to higher grounds... on his face, a resilient but distant smile. when i finished reading the caption that accompanied it, i turned my head not knowing that another lady was also there... and we both just happened to look at each other at the same time.
"It's so amazing!" she exclaimed with a beautiful smile.
"i am so happy he got a new sewing machine!" i told her...
"Me too!"
that made my day. the happiness is quite indescribable...
Steve McCurry's work can also be viewed at the pdn gallery and is definitely worth catching if it comes to a place near you.
--Friday 15th April 2005--
it's been quite a while since i posted regularly... i kinda lost that 'randomness' and excitement of posting something potentially trivial and nonsequential... perhaps i ought to limit myself to more substantial and informative posts... hmm.
anyways... here i am in Manhattan... just round the corner from Times Square... New York is a happening place... far too busy for my liking... BUT there are pockets of very charming areas that are able to keep yours truly smiling...
last saturday morning we took the subway express on A-line uptown to the 190th street and entered Fort Tyron Park. then we wandered towards the beautiful medieval building that is formed from various ruins in Spain and the French Pyrenees.
within its limestone structure, Rosslyn Chapel-like features and beautiful courtyards, the various colorful stained glass from different european countries, unicorn tapestries from the 15th century, collections of intricate wood crafts, sculptures, figurines and medicinal herb gardens, which are lush in summer, make the whole place quite a remarkable collection of medieval art that the MET museum is proud to boast.
the Romanesque-Gothic creation overlooks the Hudson and there's a lovely and quaintly decorated restaurant nearby which would add to the day's lovely excursion had we made a reservation earlier... The Cloisters is indeed something one ought not to miss when visiting New York.
sunday was absolutely sunny and warm for 'spring' and i was coaxed to skive the afternoon part of the conference to join the picnic at Central Park...
i am glad i did... for it was lovely to see everyone outdoors and enjoying the sun while being surrounded by the skyscrapers in the distant...
tuesday evening, after a failed attempt in getting student tickets to catch "The Fiddler on the Roof", Lucy, Matt and i headed to the site of the original World Trade Center where we could only just imagine how devastating it must have been... and what the memorial park would look like in time to come.
then we took the subway to the edge of Brooklyn and walked back to Manhattan along the Brooklyn Bridge in the twilight... it was a beautiful evening...
wednesday... after a long lie-in, i summoned enough strength to head out to see the world... hopped onto the subway and headed to Bowling Green where one could catch the free ferry to the Staten Island and catch a glimpse of the Statue of Liberty...
a quick hop-off and on and the ferry went back to where it came and i was back on Manhattan in approximately an hour's time.
thereafter, i made my way to Hudson River Park area... taking the subway line 1/9 till Christopher/St. Sheridan Sq., i got some directions from friendly people in the nearby Starbucks who pointed to Christopher Street and along there i went till i reached the bay/pier
... there, i asked a jogger waiting to cross the streets if she's heard of the nomadic museum... she pointed to where i might find it and darted across the street as the white-man flashed. i had read about this special exhibition in the inflight magazine when i flew with Lufthansa from Edinburgh to New York... terribly convinced that it is something worth finding out... Gregory Colbert's ashes and snow is a wonderful experience that shouldn't be missed... from the grand-scale construction of the portable museum to every little detail of the print-work i found myself amazed.
on my way back later, i popped into a quaint little tea & coffee store and brought back some blueberry and armourous almond teas... hmmm =c)
thursday... the trip to Chelsea Market (between the 9th & 10th Ave. and between the 15th & 16th streets) in the afternoon was a delightful thing to do... in there, you get to watch bakers in Amy's Bread make rolls, baguettes, ciabattas, brioches, quiches, pies and all other sorts of doughy stuff that become lovely edibles when baked. you might also find yourself bewitched by FatWitch's brownies... or enticed by the Chelsea Wine Vault to fill yourself with more spirits... the Manhattan Fruit Exchange has an unbelievable range of fruits, greens, mushrooms, squash and herbs, or The Lobster Place seafood store for some fish, the meat place, or the buonItalia where you can find authentic Italian produce and Illy's coffee... or simply join in the general bustle in the converted warehouse-like building with some of the quirky remains... it is a wonderful one-stop gourmet's paradise... and you could even pick up some gorgeous flowers at the wholesale flower market on your way out...
after all the foodie fun, i took the subway back to mid-town... and guess what i found underground?! ... there's apparently life underground...
it's been almost five years since my first brief stop-over visit... i remember catching Georgio Armani's collection at the Guggenheim as well as taking some lovely black-N-white photos in that wonderful building (i love Frank L. Wright's creations and would love to visit his Falling Water someday...), at the MoMa and around the city with the manual Canon AE1, which i dearly miss whenever i don't have it with me for convenience's sake. it was winter then. now, it's spring-ish...
today, i decided to walk down from the top of Central Park from 110th street on 5th Ave. till Times Square just so i could catch the quirky but fun Guggenheim building again...
i even had a wee courgette quiche and a cuppa earl grey in the museum's cafe... just like how i did five years ago with mummy and papa...
on my way through the Central Park this time, i spotted three maidens dancing
miniature motor sail boats struggling against each other in the water conservatory
and lovely magnolias in bloom...
a little further along... passing the series of fashion big names on 5th Ave... i caught sight of the Traump Tower with the gorgeous contrast of glassy concrete structure and the planted flowering trees in bloom...
i also spotted St. Patrick's Cathedral and the Atlas statue...
and just before returning to Times Square... i paid a visit to the NY public library in which i discovered how grand its interiors are...
but before i realised, i found myself through Bryant Park where come summertime... it will be filled with people enjoying their cuppas under the sun... the little pockets of greenery sure make Manhattan seem rather charming...
as i finished packing the last few items into my haversack, i recalled the view last evening from my brother's apartment which looks out to the Hudson River: the skyline was a beautiful pastel rainbow... pale burgandy, gentle crimson, soft yellows to light greens, turquoise and the blues that reached toward the heavens... soon it will be dark and all the skyscrapers will be highlighted with neon lights... and i'll be catching that from the skies above tonight...
here are the pictures of some parts of my daily wandering through Edinburgh which i took about 2 weekends ago on my way through the jawbone walk (yes there is an archway at the start of the walk that is made of real Whale's jawbone)... the trees that line the walkway flower annually around May, which is why ruthbuth calls them the 'May-trees' which is really quite endearing... and the cheerful daffodils (which are fyi the national flower of Wales) that flank the sides of Middle Meadow Walk have been signalling the arrival of Spring! i thought they'd bring some cheer over this Easter Weekend... and they are best enjoyed with Wordsworth's poem...
this morning's news about rampage killings in a school in Minnesota made me rather worried. you might wonder if it's a re-play of Columbine?! i will be arriving in St. Paul's in about a week's time... and i am not sure if i am really looking forward to visiting the USA... i am highly paranoid.
i had no luck with finding a copy of the little book of prose poems... (which i've grown rather fond of and is something i know a few people would probably like too)... but i got ruth some lovely fudge from the The Fudge House of Edinburgh on the Royal Mile on the way back from the Scottish Poetry Library where i thought they might still sell the book! i even got myself a few for a treat and to share with f (who'll be visiting for the weekend)... it's terrible going down the Royal Mile... you feel like you ought to have won a million pounds in the lottery... so that you can buy yourself the nice little treats of sweeties, truffles, chocs and whatnots, scottish tweed, handmade woollys, drink all the Chocolate from Plaisir du Chocolat (a place i don't seem destined to visit... for it's either shut early or i am in a hurry! sigh.) ... persuade a teddy at the Edinburgh Teddy Bear Co. to come home with you... or go into the 'secret garden' and find some peace from all the cobbled madness.... you could also enter another close and find yourself in a small alley with a view towards the spectacular Crags... indeed something appealling for the wanderer seeking a little procrastination...
it's incredibly windy today and i very nearly fell off my bike because the wind simply swept us aside so suddenly but fortunately i had some intelligence to hop off and turn the bike frame before we went with the wind... these are winds that blow right through the wee tiny gaps of the cloths or knits that make your clothes or wooly jumpers... they go right through... and the best defence you have apart from a wind-breaker is by doing lots of layering of clothes... [i forgot to add that these are also winds that easily tear off branches from trees and send leaves swirling and flying distances in the air... they are also winds that power hail and render them with the capacity to hit windows and poor hapless humans like bullets... ]
i better head home... even though i hear the winds howl as they engulf the whole city.... help.
from the MET -- weather outlook for Edinburgh at: 1800 06 Jan 2005:
"Summary: Strong to gale force winds, rain heavy at times.
This Evening and Tonight
The strong to gale force southwest winds will continue through this evening and tonight with rain, heavy at times. Minimum temperature 7 deg C (45 deg F).
Tomorrow
Strong southwest winds with rain locally heavy in the Borders. Maximum temperature 11 deg C (52 deg F).
Outlook for Saturday
Remaining unsettled with strong or gale force winds."
popped into the department yesterday and said hello to some people i've not seen over the hols. among them, my old office neighbour, the emeritus prof. was around and we chatted about the devastating tsunamis crisis and he mentioned how it is a good shock for everyone that "[mother nature] is more destructive than either Bush or Blair!" and that some people have been saying that they ought not to send aid to Indonesia because of how corrupt a nation it is... to that i argued that one could pretty much say the same for any attempt in providing aid to areas in need of them because either the rebels, militants, or the corrupted government can and do use the excuse of international aid to prolong or extend their harmful and evil operations... it is my remark that "it is so hard to do good" that he excitedly asked me if i knew of Bhutan and the idea of GNH upon which the national development and progress of the country is apparently based...
i know the existence of a place called Bhutan in asia, but not of GNH, so i decided to look it up...
unlike the many developed countries and those following their paths, Bhutan envisions it's development and progress by Gross National Happiness (GNH) rather than the global standard of GNP. as the report in Asia Times by Joseph Harris reveals, such philosophy, while being very welcoming and perhaps even humbling, has yet become operational for reasons concerning how one's happiness could or should be measured.
what a shame... yet isn't it wonderful how a developing country is willing to challenge the rest of the world in it's attempt to find peace and to gauge its development with regards to its people's happiness?
here are some other links i found which might interest some of you:
http://www.bhutanstudies.org.bt/publications/gnh/gnh.htm
http://web.idrc.ca/en/ev-61364-201-1-DO_TOPIC.html
http://www.rspn-bhutan.org/bhutan.htm
http://www.unicef.org/bhutan/kingdom.htm
http://travelbhutan.tripod.com/druk.html
http://www.i4donline.net/dec04/bhutan.asp
3 minute silence for the tsunamis victims at 12:00hrs GMT
i got up rather late for the 2nd part of the LATEX course yesterday but made it nonetheless, albeit a wee bit late... cycling is ace. i don't know what i'll do without my lovely 3-gear-back-pedal-brake bicycle that i flew over from T?bingen. it's probably not pampered enough...
we learnt how to add figures, cross-references and bibliographies into the practice documents but my queries about incorporating references from bibtex went unanswered; it is afterall a starters' course. i suppose some of you out there might know -- if you do please let me know! (click on the "say hello!" to the right to get in touch... thanks in advance). i might have to download Miktex sometime... hmmm.
anyways after some 3hours and a wee tea/coffee biscuity break in between, i dashed off cycling back to the department to park my bike and ran all the way to the train station to catch a train to Glasgow. i had to be at the Home Office before 3pm and the travelling time to get there is approximately an hour... i arrived in time to board the train but security didn't let me through without a ticket... i had only 3 mins to get one and i did just in the nick... thanks to the new ticket machines, then quickly sprinted through the crowd and jumped from the platform into the departing train. i felt invincible for 5 secs. then thought to myself: this is all so unnecessary... grrr. glad i made it though... i didn't stop running in Glasgow... i ran to the tube station and from Cessnock i ran to the HO dept. and made it only just... at 3pm. they were expecting my visit after my phonecall... in fact, the whole dept probably knew... hmm.
the usual security checks were done to get through and while i waited for some 30mins i got myself a cuppa from the vending machine and tried to clam my lungs down from all that gasping of the piercingly cold air. the center was sparsely decorated. it was rather empty too. i overheard a couple who was also there with regards to visa issues. they were quite perplexed by the sudden charge of application fees... finally, i got my new visa and the old one scrawled with some official stamp as a form of cancellation. the new details appeared correct and although i inquired about the raise of fees, all the head of the office who dealt with my case, seemed to say was that there's nothing they could do and i'll have to speak to my local MP about it. he also mentioned that it is unlikely that the fees will drop and so the proposed raise will be likely to be implemented in April 2005... resorting to the reasoning that the UK is the last of the EU countries to implement fees so they could be catching up on supposed lost-finances... crap. that's all i can say. crap.
i had some time to kill before taking the train back (my discounted ticket meant that i could only travel on off-peak trains)... the last time i went, i searched for this quirky and lovely Tea House called Tchai'Ovna near Kelvinbridge that nick recommended... it was pouring that day and hiding in a teahouse was a brilliant idea... it is a lovely place tucked behind a street of secondhand bookstores and LP recordstores... with a variety of wholesome vegetarian dishes and teas to choose from you are spoilt for choices. i requested to try a pot of "the golden flower of healing" -- which is a lovely blend of lavender, camomile and green tea... it was just what i needed to nurse my headache... and i left the place with a bag of lavender tea... just in case i might need a quick fix again! i must go back again but perhaps with some company next time...
however, it was sunny yesterday... and i thought i'd rather stay close to the train station. i've not been to Glasgow much (but i've seen a few museums though)... and i thought i might as well try to find a pair of warmer trousers for the freezing cold days since there are more stores there... i wandered into some stores and tried to look for warm trousers or happy shoes. i found 2 pairs of trousers in the end... which is quite remarkable!
on the way back, i read another short story from "Elephant and other short stories" by Raymond Carver, an author (and poet) i am beginning to grow quite fond of... perhaps i will share my thoughts on them someday... but i am no expert on such things and i can't string clever and eloquent sentences to make a brilliant critique...hmm...
Arafat dies leaving an ocean of uncertainty for the hopes of the Palestinians and Palestine.
terror and trauma continues in Dafur where dear R was killed trying to give aid to the victims.
another instance of myopia: China's booming industrial aspiration ignores health and environmental issues.
i spent about a month in Romania some summers ago... not so near the Carpathians but still in the forest-valley in Budului, Bacau... and well, we did go to the Carpathian mountian range too from Brasov, albeit briefly, but we were mainly walking on well-trodden paths... today's news about the hungry bear attack made me feel a little vulnerable... yet, my memory of that country is still one of immense beauty, historical culture... and of many great potentials.
i never expect to lose a dear friend so soon...
so much i still wish time could heal...
so much death could steal.
for these innocent children of Beslan, Russia, and their family and teachers, it was to be a happy start to the new school year... but it ended in a most horrific carnage, emotionally scarring those who survived the ordeal, and shattering the confidence of a nation.
what have humans become? using others' lives as means to their goals? how much longer do we have to withstand living in the kind of fear we ourselves have created? who are we to subject others to such agony?!
...world renowned aerial photographer Yann Arthus-Bertrand's "Earth from the Air" is being exhibited here at the Royal Botanic Garden of Edinburgh for the next two months... and i've had a chance to view his amazing shots captured from the air on sunday... a total of 160 prints are enlarged and exhibited out-doors next to the glasshouse and with each of them, you witness through the photographer's bird's eye view, a different aspect of our earth: it's breath-taking beauty when free of any unecological human activity; it's devastating state when humans intervene in its order of things; the natural calamities experienced by a vast majority of the human population; migration, activities and the struggles of life; traces of humanity as the marks left behind by our ancient ancestors suggest; the patterns and colours we create through our activities etc... all insinuating a strong view of preservation, appreciation and mindfulness of our own way of being....
following a lovely picnic in the beautiful botanic grounds with ruth and michelle, i spent the rest of the afternoon being captivated and mesmerised by the different visual sensations and interesting ponderings over concepts like 'ownership', 'identity', 'sustainability', 'development', 'aid', 'creation' etc.... and unwittingly... recharging my chronic desire to see the world...
all the pictures you see in this entry are taken from the Press Center at
http://www.earthfromtheair.com/
and belong rightfully to Yann Arthus-Bertrand/ImpactPhotos
http://www.yannarthusbertrand.com/
the sun appeared for a while today and i felt a wee surge of confidence (maybe all that singing did help!)...which lasted long enough... the workshop went alright i think! i did manage to get the students to participate in my session which attempted to interest them in some of the various interesting problems in perception and what psychologists and neuroscientists have been pondering about, e.g. over how we make sense of what we see (or do not see).... and how we construct our own reality and personal worlds in our minds....etc.
it's been drizzling since i got out of the theForest cafe where dasha and i went after giving the workshop to fill up our grumbling tummies....food was delicious (i had some lovely roasted vegetables and sundried tomatoes sandwiched in a toasted bagel; and dasha had a vegie-burger with guacamole sandwiched in a ciabatta with a wholesome salad and some unpolished rice on the side...yummm) and very affordable but you must have the patience to wait -- but it is very well worth it! .... in fact i am most intrigued by the whole cafe concept... people work there for free -- i mean they volunteer... and i suppose they get something (e.g. meals) in return. but the whole philosophy of this place -- being environmentally sound, ethical and sustainable -- is truly remarkable and it is (at least to me) what the whole world should strive for!! it is a really wacky but friendly place... the furniture are all collected or donated from various places...the seemingly incoherent bizarre bits and pieces merge in a creative way... and perhaps because it is run by volunteers, there is a lack of the usual 'proper-ness' in say, a normal restaurant, cafe etc. and i suppose one can very much feel 'at-home' in the apparent randomness... ace.
ruth and ruthbuth came to meet me at theForest and it was lovely to catch up with them... i have made a resolution to get out and be out more, as in, not to stay at home on my own too much. the problem of staying on your own is that while it is nice to have your own space and i do love my own space lots, it does get a bit too much occasionally and you can't have the spontaneous ramblings with, say flatmates, as and when you feel like pestering them... i wonder if you know what i mean?! and so you get into a silly habit of occupying yourself with things... like work etc. which can be rather unhealthy.
on a similar note, i am actually quite enjoying the new work space... i feel more motivated... and i like the feeling of not being alone 24hrs a day... and i am glad to be working next to lucy and dasha...
well, perhaps things are perking up... i really hope the programming problem will improve.... because i'd really like to be doing this creative writing course during the festival but i don't want to be worrying about work while attending the course and thus finding myself unable to enjoy or benefit fully from it... hmm.
oh well, i won't think of programming tonight... i'll get some peace and quiet and rest and fight it tomorrow.... glup.
PS: i did mean to put up pictures of my trips/adventures but i haven't got round to doing so... perhaps i will manage with the photolog soon. please bear with me... i know i am a horrible procrastinator. but i do eventually get things done... i suppose. heee
i set off on my bike to Roslin (or Rosslyn; Ross=point, lyn=waterfall -- i think) this afternoon in search of the Chapel that everyone said i should visit... i bought myself a cycle map yesterday and a wee book on "25 cycle trips in Edinburgh and Lothian"... but spent perhaps too much time worrying about the route to take as i set off quite late and got quite lost... Edinburgh is very hilly... well, the city is built within the surrounding 7 hills (but you get to watch 7 synchronous fire-works over Hogmany...so it's just brilliant!)... in attempt to avoid the motorways i tried to take the little roads which were all quite rather unfamiliar to me.... i haven't really ventured out that much i have to admit. but it was a sun-drenched glorious day and i was up for exploration.... somewhere between Edinburgh and Roslin, after walking up a treacherous hilly bit and coming out of a village, i was truly feeling lost. i managed to stop a cyclist on his professional bike with all the pro-gear and asked him for help... he very kindly showed me the way to Rosewell which is next to Roslin and was actually quite amused about my apparent quest for the Chapel and my enthusiasm and my very old bike which is quite ancient. i thanked him profusely and carried on through the marked dirt-path i had looked forward to reaching and looking out for the apparent junction to turn right into Roslin... i went for miles and miles... but saw no junction... i went so far along the path; passing beautiful river streams and farmland with handsome horses i'd love to own... over bridges and through tunnels.... but i still didn't find this junction which shouldn't really be that faraway from where i left the cyclist. some dog-owners were taking their labradors for the Saturday evening walk... i stopped a few times and asked for directions... much to my dismay and astonishment... i was almost approaching another village! i made my way back where i came through... passing the lovely paths and making sure i didn't miss the Rosslyn Glen signpost. i had seen it before but didn't realise that there was a wee path next to the tunnel through which the cycle path went, and over which cars pass... next to this was a marked entrance into Rosslyn Glen... i decided to make my way through the Glen with my bike... the footpath was not made for bikes but i somehow managed...asked a couple and their dog if i am anywhere near the Chapel and they said i am not far off.... out of the beautiful Glen, green and flowering... i hobbled down the gravel path (trying my best to be vigilant for a fall on such rough gravel will be most painful) and found myself up a horrendously step hill.... i cycled as hard as i could on my 3-gear bike... a horse-rider went past me the other way; the cloperty-hoofs of the sturdy horse gave me rhythm and the rider said, "it's hard work!" with a broad smile in passing.... i thought this hill-climb would never end... but then i caught sight of a wee footpath sign to Roslin... i pushed my bike up the path steps through the lovely hilly dirt path overlooking the area... it's beautiful countryside. this wee path reminded me lots of T?bingen where i lived -- nearby there is the ?sterberg hill which i cycled pass with the very same bike every day and certain footpaths leading to the observatory on the hill was almost like the one i trodded through today. it was a good 20 minutes or so before i found myself passing by a cemetery... the tombstones shot up towards the blue sky and fluffy clouds flew by... "am i here?" i asked myself...surely i must be very very near... some folks were visiting graves and i pushed my bike up another bit of hill and came to a carpark... a group of visitors were just getting into their car and i shouted to them: "Hi! Do you where the Chapel might be?" the lady driver kindly got out and said, "it's just round the corner, but it is unfortunately already closed for the day." she pointed to the white roof-structure above the chapel's stone roof and said "just there with the white bit -- the original roof is under repair...well, it's crumbling and damp and they have to put up this structure to let it dry off... it will be up there for some 6 years before they can work on it. go round and have a check on the opening times, perhaps you could come again tomorrow or some other day." i thanked her despite my slight disappointment.... went round the bend and saw the stone wall encircling the little chapel.... where neither the wall nor the slate-roof canopy blocked my view, i could just about see some of the intricate stone carvings on the outerwalls of the chapel. i wonder what treasures laid within.... behind was some footpaths leading to Rosslyn Castle and some other historical sites which i could visit some other time... i parked my bike next to the path gate, sat on the 'picnic' seats in front of the ordinance map located just before the path and ate my almond croissant i had saved all day till i got to the Chapel... i had not had much the whole day and i was so hungry. the wee bottle of water i took with me was soon dropless clean... i surveyed my cycle map again to look for a sensible and fast route home before it started to get dark. an old man with a wee dog passed by and asked, "are you lost again?" i looked up from my map in slight embarassment, "have we met before?! yes i am trying to figure out my way back to Edinburgh" he looked at me with disbelief and bewilderment, walked up to the large artistic tourist map that stood just a meter away and surveyed it. then he turned back and said pointing to the main road,"just keep going that-a-way and you will get there! good luck!" he walked off with the wee creature. oh! yes there was this other asian-looking guy then too, he came with some bus apparently (i didn't think there would be one on Saturday!) and thought i was rather adventurous to come all the way out with my bike.... yes i am slighlty mad.... anyways, it worked out that i had to go through the motorways... or the A-roads... i was a little scared (well i am always scared of big roads which makes me a really nervous driver!) but i remembered that the cyclist said it would be alright if i tuck myself near the curb and go slow enough so that the car drivers will notice and make room... so i went... passing by kids who made snide remarks of my bike, and wondering where i have gotten it and then jeering at me, thinking i must be a nutter to ride such an old bike. yes i am a nutter but this bike is my life. don't you silly twats insult it! i also passed by another adolescent congregation at a bus stop and one of the them had a bike and faced backwards towards me, i yelped in anger when he backed to move, just as i was passing him, without checking his surroundings... it could have been a nasty accident and it was then i shouted an almost audibly loud "bloody hell!" and then tried to concentrate on my route home... some kids are plain horrible and nasty... they get peskier in groups.... anyways, i made through roundabouts in one piece! and up the hill towards the city passing IKEA!, and then found myself on familiar roads...you don't know how relieved i felt... on my way back to the loft, up the links the cable connecting my gear-selector and the gear cogs snapped. i was some half a km from home but was so glad this didn't happen during my crazy wandering and getting lost.... got back, hid the bike in landlady's shed, emptied my wee bag, and set off to the supermarket to get some food for the week before it became shut....it's been a long day; i think i covered some 30-40km or so today... and i am glad i made it to Roslin afterall! i will return again... for now... here is some information about Rosslyn Chapel -- there's a better picture of it (without the new temporary roof) than what i would have been able to capture, and some myths or legends for those who are interested... tomorrow i shall have to get my poor bike fixed!
"On my way home I walked along the wall with the dog behind me. My shoes were squeaking all the way. There were white salt marks where they were already beginning to dry. The sun was starting to come through the mist and it was not going to rain after all. I looked back and saw the sun coming out. The water was so white and so full of bouncing light that I could see nothing at all. It made me want to close my eyes and sneeze. When I looked into the shadows under the trees it was so dark that I could see nothing there either. When you're small you know nothing. I know the sea is like a piece of silver paper in the sun. I can see people walking along the seafront with ice-cream cones. I can hear the bells and I am not afraid of being German or Irish, or anywhere in between. Maybe your country is only a place you make up in your mind. Something you dream about and sing about. Maybe it's not a place on the map at all, but just a story full of people you meet and places you visit, full of books and films you've been to. I'm not afraid of being homesick and having no language to live in. I don't have to be like everyone else. I'm walking on the wall and nobody can stop me."
...a bittersweet triumph... a touching account of growing up with a German Mutti and an Irish Vati ....being caught in between their past, aspirations, life philosophies and dreams...and the changing Ireland.
so many wonderful blogs out there... i know it's long gone but the Best of British Blogging 2003 has a list of winners with brilliant blogs....
Jeremy, whom i got to know as an undergrad here in Edinburgh, is an amazing photographer... i wish i could catch moments like he does... moments that speak more than words can justifiably express. ...find him "witnessing the world" and living his dream with a click.
i have recently been thinking about going to Japan in summer...there's this summer internship offered by the Riken Brain Science Institute that is very tantalizing...hmmm
my wee brain suddenly reminded me myself of potential contacts in Japan...i suppose some of my fellow Atlantic college friends are Japanese....i wonder if they are still living in Japan?!... and possibly Joan -- i hope she'll get to go!....there's also Nick, a fellow psychology grad. from Edinburgh, who is currently teaching English as a Foreign Language in a small fishing village in Japan, called Okinawa... and chronicles his adventures... read his diary on light vessel automatic....and i got to know Derek, who kindly commented on one of my entries (where's home?) in mid Dec., who is also living in Japan... in Kanazawa, Ishikawa....clicking on his name i found myself in GaijinWorld .... full of insightful snippets of life in Japan... (don't forget to peek into the other bits which it also serve...).... these two are certainly spiffy sites for those who are thinking of participating in the JET programme....or simply fascinated about world in the Land of the Rising Sun....
