it's been quite a whirlwind of late... and sadly it is only with me falling ill last week and now battling them hay-fever, thanks to the pollinating trees, that i get a little 'time-off' the silly buzz carried over from the post-madness of finishing up 4 1/2 years of research; most of which -- the frustrating parts -- did not end up filling the actual thesis. thank goodness! in any case, i had an excuse to dispose it in person... be in bonnie edinburgh, tidy up some of the stuff i left behind with dear lucy, & got to meet up with my first-year undergrad flatmates (hannah, anna, and amy), and to drop by to say hello to me brother and li anne!
dropping off the final bound copy of the thesis was probably the happiest moment in my entire journey towards the 'light' beyond the tunnel. i don't think graduation in person would top it. i am done with all that silly garb... it's good fun as an undergrad and for taught-degrees where you have fellow course mates to make merry and celebrate with you. but parents always want 'the' moment to feel proud of their kid's achievement... even if it is 5 mins at the tops... and i am depriving them of that opportunity. tsk tsk tsk. instead, they are coming to visit me! RAH! i think that's much more worthwhile... =)
more pictures soon... although i've placed some on facebook... go here to see them!
i am still figuring out which picture application is best. flickr is okay although i don't find it easy to organise my stuff because i am a cheepo and am not paying for a pro-account. i quite like the interface from facebook but am chronically unsure as to how 'secure' it is... but then again how secure is google mail when you have adverts all over staring at you based on search words?! i've not used picasa for uploading of pictures... hmm. any recommendations?
else... i am catching up on enjoying life a little, learning new things (as always!)... and erm... yes tidying up before my parents show up! oooops!
it's snowing in april(?!?!)... and i am stuffed up with icky sticky slimey bug of some flu that refuses to disappear. and my hay-fever is nowhere near dissipating... baaaah
see how evil the bugs look?!?! eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeks!!!
today's occupation is to do with coaxing myself to get my mountains of laundry done and tidy up my mess. it's a challenge... all i want to do is feel sorry for myself.
=(
ahhh... i wanted to write about something else, really... because this side of me, the 'geeky' side, is so erm.. un-flattering! =P and i do have more exciting news to honk about... really! in any case, i thought it might be good to share a bit of what i've learnt today, in case you find yourself in the same situation.
in today's world of mobile technology... we often end up with laptops crashing after its life-span of 3-4 yrs (typical of a PC) or longer (often for a Mac or a good PC like the Thinkpad) and then what do we do with the parts that still (kind of) work?! i mean a hard-disk-drive (hdd) can still be functional even if the motherboard's fried. as in the case of my old lappy top... the flimsy dell. you can remove the 2.5" hdd and get an enclosure (i.e. a little box with some funky electronics that link the hdd to a usb or similar device so you can hook it up to your computer) for it and use it as an external hard drive until... well, it eventually dies, too. by then you are left with an enclosure and no hard drive! oops.
yesterday, i decided that i should replace the dead and gone 2.5" hdd that went kaput recently. i thank my lucky stars because it decided that it's had enough only after i've transferred my files to a new lappy top (thinkpad x61s ... i wish the x300 came out earlier!!!) i get to use... but it's always good to have a backup; i know what hassle it is to lose data... like gigabytes of data; no fun. so i went to get a 2.5" laptop hdd at a computer store. they come in all sorts of brands but i am generally partial to the japanese ones... i got a 120gig Fujitsu drive and learnt that a lap top hard drive is often associated with the synonyms of either IDE or PATA, which should not be confused with SATA; as the synonyms are printed on the packaging, you just don't want to get the wrong one because the Advance Technology Attachments from your hdd enclosures must match. once you've got the right hdd (or hope that you do), you happily go home and try to assemble it in your existing enclosure.
there are usually about 20 to 22 parallel rows of pin-sockets in the drive enclosure to which you fit the hdd. there may be 4 (or more) pins on the hdd which are not necessarily used. once you've done the assembly you try to see if your lappy top recognises it. usually the usb mass storages that you stick into the usb ports will initiate your machine to recognise the new device... the thinkpad did so too but no drive was displayed in 'My Computer'. within the 'Device Manager' window, and the 'Drives' option, the new Fujitsu hdd was listed as being in existent. hmm...?!?! i reckoned that it's not been formatted that's why the system didn't load it as a drive with a path location... how does one format a new laptop drive when you aren't using it as a laptop drive but as an external hdd?!
yikes!. i thought... so i googled for answers... and was relieved to find this web page that provided the answers. Project: DIY External Hard Drive went through it step by step with clear screen-shots of how to go about the whole procedure. i mainly needed to partition and format the drive and so i followed the instructions to deal with that within the Administrative Tools in a PC. there might be something similar out there for macs. despite a bit of frantic panicking, i am happy to say, it all worked out! and now i have a functioning hdd with enough capacity to hold as much crap as i so desire! =)
baaah.... so much for such geekiness!
they don't tell you about them at school... but we go through a bunch of them all the time. so i stumble upon yet another one of the many ones i might still find myself encountering during my life journey... whooooop whoooop! i think i am beginning to get used to their occurrences... maybe.
so here are the current challenges:
-- finishing up the 'minor' corrections to my magnum opus so i may eventually get THE official diagnosis of Poly-traumatic Hypertension Disorder... (i really am cynical about it yes you can tell! i probably wouldn't have done it if i had been given a second chance to choose... yes i regret it quite a bit... but that's that. it's an acknowledgment. people often tell me i shouldn't talk about regrets. i say we need feelings like regret to learn not to make similar choices; if we never reflect on life and paths taken, it is unlikely we will learn from our experiences.) ... and also to rework the chapters into articles... as you know: publish OR perish!
-- learning to work with others in new projects even though i am not really enjoying the dynamics at the moment and having to get used to the people who are involved... more specifically, learning to work with some people who aren't really practical about things... a test of my patience & tolerance!
-- figuring out if i'd like to stay in research and to try to get into academia (btw in case you think it's the case: no you aren't guaranteed a position with a PhD, no... hardly!) or whether medical school is another option or something completely different...
-- trying to figure out why other people seem to have gotten everything sorted out and how they do that... i am envious!
a friend who died in war-torn Dafur while trying to make a difference in the troubled land of Sudan once told me that we go through life figuring out what it is that we don't enjoy doing or don't tolerate too well... in hope that we might find something that is agreeable... some people definitely strike it lucky in their first few attempts; they end up doing what they love. others, myself included, seem to take longer... i sometimes wish i didn't have so many different interests and were only able to a few things whether i do them well or not... that way, i won't have so many different paths that i could explore. oh well. i really don't know which is better...
i am somewhat regretting not buying a last-minute ticket home for a week last Friday after my oral exam so i could spend Lunar New Year with my parents and family... it's been more than 10 years since i last spent it at home. i had to wait a week for the exam report to reach me... but had started with some corrections nonetheless... still, it would have been nice to catch up with friends over the festivity even if i might only be home for merely a few days... the warmer weather... the oooh so yummy kuey lapis cake my mummy bakes every new year for visitors to enjoy. sigh... i am kicking myself hard. =( maybe my parents and my brothers and their family might visit me instead... =)
sigh... wouldn't it be nice if one could just beam oneself anywhere! =)
on the more happier note... i got my oral exam report; it's mostly positive (more so than i give my work credit; something which i am still struggling to acknowledge) except for the list of so-called 'minor' corrections etc. and i got to prance about in a pair of new Clarks (which i got for 1/2 price) last friday with my date during the med-school winter ball... i wish they were more into Ceilidhs or Scottish country dancing here... seriously, that's a lot more fun and ahem, "civilized" than bouncing to rock n roll... you get to dance and mingle and be silly among strangers with your date or company of friends all in one single activity... isn't it what 'social' events are for?! =)
i also went downhill skiing last sunday with my colleague and some of his Brazilian friends and am happy to say i didn't fall and survived the blue trails of the midwest (which are more like the scary green ones in Snowbird -- i never quite finished my anecdote!) and actually enjoyed curving down the slopes. skiing is such a fun sport once you get the hang of the 'basics'! maybe some of the friends i met during the ski-trip might send me the pictures we took that day... maybe they'd forget! oh well.
i am generally more homesick and nostalgic during this time of the year... and any asian-like cuisine here is better than none but is still not as good as what i know i'd get when i do return home to visit again... ahhh the sacrifices of a nomadic existence... sob.
in any case... we have a lot of snow and freezing wind to celebrate the lunar new year of the RAT... squeak!
HAPPY NEW YEAR TO ALL OF YOU CELEBRATING!!!
新年快乐，步步高升！龙马精神！万事如意！
i defended my thesis last friday via web-cam and phone-conferencing between Scotland and the USofA... it was strangely interesting, and the whole grilling experience was surprisingly shorter than the 3 hours i had psyched myself up to bear... suffice to say i survived it and am more relieved than anything because the whole journey has not been enjoyable, to say the least. the challenging part isn't so much the 'Science' itself, rather, it's the people involved... bureaucracies, politics, constraints, life... etc.
oftentimes people think that research is not 'real' 'work'... because it's often based at a university and so it's more like 'school'... i can totally understand if people don't get why researchers are paid so little to work such long non-conventional hours... because i think it's totally insane... but i find it hard to tolerate the comparisons they make between the working hours of the corporate world and the research lab; the finance people get paid a tonne more for the inhumane hours while it is reasoned that 'scientists' choose to work overtime in search of 'truths' or insights which in itself is rewarding enough to compensate for the less desirable income... i think the whole earnings and career-prestige is totally skewed. sigh.
in any case... i await the official report from Scotland... and am looking forward to the final close of this endeavour and moving on... fossicking... but ultimately, still being who i am, regardless of the extra title.
when it's about minus 6degC, it is pretty mild for winter... when it gets below minus 10degC, it starts to make you aware that staying outdoors for longer than 10 mins is a bad idea.... when it drops below minus 15degC, you really want to start to run out of the cold just as you find yourself out in the freeze.... when it is below minus 20degC, all the layers of wool and thermal underwear will only help you tolerate the madness so long as there's no chill or wind... and really, at any level below minus 20degC... people should really move about outdoors only if they have a snow-suit... but they don't make snow-suits like those that cosmo/astronauts wear... i want one!!!
IT IS SO FREAKING COLD...................................................................................
Desiderata
Go placidly amid the noise and haste,
and remember what peace there may be in silence.
As far as possible without surrender
be on good terms with all persons.
Speak your truth quietly and clearly;
and listen to others,
even the dull and the ignorant;
they too have their story.Avoid loud and aggressive persons,
they are vexations to the spirit.
If you compare yourself with others,
you may become vain and bitter;
for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.
Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.Keep interested in your own career, however humble;
it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.
Exercise caution in your business affairs;
for the world is full of trickery.
But let this not blind you to what virtue there is;
many persons strive for high ideals;
and everywhere life is full of heroism.Be yourself.
Especially, do not feign affection.
Neither be cynical about love;
for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment
it is as perennial as the grass.Take kindly the counsel of the years,
gracefully surrendering the things of youth.
Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune.
But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings.
Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.
Beyond a wholesome discipline,
be gentle with yourself.You are a child of the universe,
no less than the trees and the stars;
you have a right to be here.
And whether or not it is clear to you,
no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.Therefore be at peace with God,
whatever you conceive Him to be,
and whatever your labors and aspirations,
in the noisy confusion of life keep peace with your soul.With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams,
it is still a beautiful world.
Be cheerful.
Strive to be happy.
~Max Ehrmann © 1927
"May I speak to xxxx xxxx please?" came a caller from the Minnesota Orchestra Marketing personnel just a few minutes ago...
"Yes, speaking."
"Oh... perhaps I'd like to speak to your mother, instead."
"What does this concern?"
"Oh, perhaps it is you. I am sorry. I am......" continuing her spiel on whether I'd like to do an over-the-phone purchase of concert tickets.
i am sorry. i hate this phone-marketing business when people know that one can go online to check on concerts, that i get brochures sent to me, and that if i really wanted to i will make an effort to seek out concerts i like or think i might enjoy. the fact that i haven't been visiting the Orchestra Hall either speaks of my time-commitment elsewhere, or that the programmes offered are just not my cuppa... if truth be spoken, it's the latter. i simply detest the fact that businesses often choose to invade your personal space in the most direct and unpleasant way.
i am getting better at hanging up on these marketing people. it took me less than a minute, despite her desperate attempts, in part aware that she's offended me.
yes, i know i don't have the most adult-like voice out there... it is not necessarily a voice that commands authority... but it is my voice.
... i guess if my mummy had to learn it the hard way... everyone else, including me, myself, and i, will too.
grrr.
i've always had a benign curiosity for all things cosmological... my mummy is quite well-versed in deciphering chinese astrological almanacs but i am no where near capable of figuring out my own destiny. Google's web-tools offer a myriad of little gadgets like a daily horoscope reading that i subscribe for free, which allows me, on occasion, to derive some musings or solace for things not-going-so-well...
Daily Horoscope for Gemini By Rick Levine [from Tarot.com]
Tuesday, January 8, 2008You are probably concerned with serious matters today, which can lure you past the lighter issues that typically interest you. Maybe you missed something or maybe you just got it wrong and now get a second chance. Reconsider what in your life is most valuable to you. Be practical, for you could be required to live with your current choices for a while.
this is slightly freaky... is there a voyeurist out there or have i got a virtual guardian angle? hmm... let's hope i do get a second chance.
i started the new year with sore blisters on the lower back of my feet just above the heel... x-country skiing was quite fun except for the heat it generated! unlike the cold-sweat experienced during downhill skiing associated with keeping the adrenaline pumping and gearing one's footwork in time to prolong the descent, you do get a decent workout from sliding horizontally...
for the last week or so, i was down with a sniffly bout of cold thanks to some upper respiratory bug that's been having a fun journey during the winter season... i seem to be the last one at the lab to fall prey to it's virulent curse... but ah well... at least i believe in the idea of re-programming my natural immune system through recovery!
trying to gear up for the oral defense is proving a little over-whelming... i've not done anything like this before... and everyone's experience is different. i am also regretting churning up the 200 pages of scientific garb which i submitted... it means there's a lot of possible opportunities for intellectual attacks and criticisms that i will have to defend. i guess the hardest bit of it all is to push aside memories of the rather frustrating journey in getting to where i am now... to end it off in a positive light.
a recurrently renewed resolution is to try to get up earlier to enjoy the peaceful mornings... it's quite a difficult one... for most of you will know me as a night owl... oh well. thing is, i love the mystery of early mornings and the quietness that is present in the beginning of a new day.
i want this new year to be more positive than the last. i want to try to do things i love, and find out what i really want out of my insignificant existence... i'd love to surprise myself... dance a ceilidh again, feel loved, be appreciated for what i can do / achieve, and 'cook up a [perpetual] storm' in the kitchen, to travel, read, learn in all different ways... and be. i can't wait for the end of this phd ordeal... i can't wait!
i like to think that 2007 was not all miserable... although i did struggle through many months of the last year and tried very hard to keep sane. along the way, i learnt a little more about myself... and found company who made living through the hard times a little more bearable. here're some of the happiest memories in pictures:
[after a rather logistically-challenged trip to Leipzig, i visited Berlin with F as tour-guide and learnt to appreciate the east-west German dichotomy... for the first time in person.]
[i made a trip to the hot-springs resort area of Hakone, about an hour away from Yokohama, Japan, while attending a conference. the weather was misty and miserably wet in July but that did not stop me from wandering in the famous Picasso sculpture garden, nor did it prevent me from enjoying a therapeutic warm foot bath within its grounds... however my old Canon Ixus camera did eventurally RIP in its homeland and the following few pictures are whatever i managed to rescue from it...]
[i did pamper myself for one night in Hakone at the luxurious Fujiya Hotel, indulging in the in-house hot-springs onsen facility...]
[and the traditional Japanese breakfast was literally a gustatory awakening and i am still lusting for more... ]
[the second day of my visit in Hakone offered better touristy opportunities... and i actually saw Mt Fuji in the distance while floating in the air during the cable car ride and crossed Lake Ashi with better views of the beautiful scenery...]
[one memorable stop during my visit to Hakone was at the quaint tea-house Amazake Chaya, which supposedly dates back to the Edo period, where relics of stone-paved path still lined the sidewalks leading to it. i had a loveliest of simple snacks; savoury and sweet sticky bean puddings and a refreshing chilled rice-malt that's yet turned into sake... i'd love to have another cuppa there some day!]
[in the last few months, i got acquainted with 3 new four-legged friends: Max, Rusty and Vespar]
[i got to attend my brother Wee and Lianne's wedding, which was low-keyed and very enjoyable... and am amazed by how much little Raeanne has grown...]
[the colours of Autumn cheered me on as i struggled to write my thesis in 2 months...]
[i got to enjoy an American wedding despite a scary and nearly terrible fall down the stairs of the church wherein the couple was being wed, thanks to my date for the timely catch. note-to-myself: heels are horrid things!]
[i discovered that i ain't the only one who enjoys messing about in the kitchen...]
[and i sampled and made a lot of random edible things... =)]
[waking up early to run the Twin-Cities 5k in the Autumn drizzle with a fun goofy friend was one of the loveliest things i did this year..]
[Ulli came to visit and i began to miss all my cool friends who are scattered everywhere in this crazy world when she left...]
[i had my first American Thanksgiving and a fun walk in the woods with the Boeffs!]
[a first American Christmas celebration at the Merkles with my very own stocking filled with treats and got to enjoy a very decadent and rich chocolate pudding with divine amounts of whipped cream!]
[best of all... there has been so much snow this winter... i got to try snow-shoeing... x-country skiing... and enjoy the wonders of nature in the snowy outdoors...]
[the loveliest scene this winter is this picture i captured during my recent visit to the Boeffs... i hope the magic of this winter will carry through the new year... and that 2008 will be a beautiful journey for everyone out there!]
i've been busier than usual this X'mas... fiddling with my hands and making handmade little greeting gifts for people i will be visiting. pasta-angels were introduced to me in Germany where little crafts of all sorts are made particularly for children and during Christmas season.
it took a while to figure out how to make them look angelic... but it kinda worked... thanks to some amazing epoxy glue... random bits of ribbons... some thread and needle and knotty fun... and of course the appropriate pasta shapes and if not trimming it to look like something you want.... heee!
HAPPY HOLIDAYS TO ALL!!!
i am extremely good at putting myself in a decision making dilemma... if one's accomplishments could be measured by how good they are at subjecting themselves to a state of complicatedness... i think i'd score pretty well. alas!
i am waiting to hear when the dreaded oral defense of my thesis will be... while waiting i am recuperating from all the madness and slowly getting back to stressing again (?!) and preparing for the d-day. other perpetually lingering issues creep up on me with different intensities depending on what triggers their appearances... they fall into categories like: do i want to stay in research; is there something else out there i could do or have the ability or skills i could contribute to?, where could i have as my nomadic base; how long am i staying in any given place?!?, should i even consider getting a car, if i might have to relocate again?, etc.
ARRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! i hate how i do it to myself again and again... you should have to avoid getting into such a state like i often do as it is extremely vexing! to get out of this crippling restless state of rationalizing... i am keeping myself busy... and hoping that the activities will push those chronic issues into the subconsciousness and let them hum in the background whilst they reconfigure themselves into something more positive.
sigh... i should never have been a nomad... =(
i had no idea how these fluttery things with slimey-looking younglings get inside my apartment when there's a wire gauze over all windows... except perhaps through the slits in the window wherein the air-conditioner (A/C) was installed over summer... darn those wretched creatures! i had to part with my beloved sacks of rice... rice of all sorts; wild, sweet, brown, and my baking stuff... evil little things!
may i also mention that the said window with the A/C also enticed a frequent visitor with a bushy tail particularly when it storms... and more annoyingly this visitor has a penchant for gnawing at the gauze outside the storm window next to the one containing the A/C. it's partly my fault for having the storm window drawn up occasionally for the fresh breeze, because the protective (?!?) gauze has suffered 3 chewing destructions and consequent replacements... and i believe that the visitor actually came in one evening and decided that it wasn't going to be finding any food and scampered out again. i've never had negative thoughts of grey squirrels until i met them in person... they are pesky.
anyways... back to the pantry! i've been swatting and exterminating them moths and emptying my food cupboard... and putting whatever could be salvaged in a box... clearing away these invaders will be my new chore! baaaah... and i will have to live with an empty cupboard for a while... sob.
that would be quite a cool vanity registration plate won't it? and i could say i'm "in a FIT" !!! ... *giggles*
i hope to get to test-drive this spiffy-looking car tomorrow... not that i can really afford it but ... am curious after all the raves about it... hmmm i do like a hatchback... and small-ish car... with great functionality and mileage efficiency... and something i could do my parallel parking without too much misery! ...yeah i am hopeless! but it's getting better, really... =)
gosh, i am so green about car-buying/leasing... but will check out some options at a dealership or two tomorrow... eeks. oh well... at least i get to zippy-zip in the hourcar Prius for a bitty and hopefully there will be time to stop by at a TARGET! for some grocery etc. and United Noodles for some treat =)
and if the car-buying jazz fades out eventually (which isn't unlikely)... there's still the bus and bicycle and the hard-core yours truly who's tough enough to brave another wretchedly evil mid-western winter... sigh.
back to editing !!! arrrrgh.
i drink coffee or tea or self-prescribe vitamin B2/B6 boosters to keep awake so i can get more writing done... particularly in the day... but my wonderful metabolism (which i can't seem to work out) has its own timings and delays... i am generally tired and under stress but get perky because of the caffeine at weird times... sometimes i am so tired but my mind is still awake and i can't sleep... to tire myself out i try to get some more done instead of ruminating over crazy life choices that led me to where i am which can be pretty well... literally nerve-wrecking... but if i don't keep caffeinated... i keep falling asleep... and so it's a stupid viscious cycle which i can't quite halt at the moment... because the writing needs to be done... =(
one thing about weather in the twin-cities is that it is always hard to accept the reality that summer is over... and winter is really just around the corner because it is generally very sunny here. i still have the innate (& potentially chronic) difficulty in trying to unlearn the association that sunny == warm... just as much as i have to undo the negatively reinforced damage of associating waking up early == school or work.
but reality hits hard and today's temperature is a chilly 18-19°C... and briliantly SUNNY!
ooh... after last year's London 10K... i haven't really signed up for any running events. the twin-cities marathon is in october and while i don't really fancy such a long distance, i did really enjoyed the challenge of the 10k run... sadly the 10mile run entry application is now closed, and with the recent bridge collapse, rerouting is currently being worked out. there is however, a potentially nice 5k run which i could participate without too much training and use it as an incentive to clock up my ~10miles per week goal in keeping fit during this crazy writing up spree... decisions... help!
oh it's been pretty stressful lately... trying to churn out intelligible words and stringing them into sensible sentences... everything still seems pretty crappy to me, nonetheless. maybe that's what a crazy phd is all about. it demoralizes you to the point of non-retractable self-doubt and lead you to the brink of insanity! a visiting colleague once commented that phds are more about solving problems than the science itself... there's quite a lot of truth to it... sadly. but a lot of the challenging experience has also made me very appreciative of all the encouragements i've been bestowed... i am indebted to so many of you out there...
..............
mummy and papa have been amazing... despite the geographical distances, they've been there when i needed their help and comfort... i can't wait for my new cell phone to arrive! my current sony-e of nearly 5 yrs old is still alive except that nobody can hear me on the other end... it would cost so much to get another phone that would work beyond the usa from here or to fix it. so papa has kindly upgraded my phone and i shall have a portable walkie-talkie again... soon.
..............
..............
i don't know about you, but i often find inspirations for cooking from people... like who they are, what we've cooked, eaten, and /or enjoyed together... etc. for those of you who don't have to scratch your head every day and figure out what to make for lunch or dinner... this is something quite frustrating at times, particularly if you are quite a foodie and like good food and are pretty stressed and don't have much time... but it always helps when there is some inspiration... no matter how flighty it might be.
chatting with mum is wonderful for such fits of foodie inspirations... particularly when i've not been eating too well... it's a wee bitty better now; everything is relatively better when you are not under immense stress or subjective misery... last weekend, after our conversation, i attempted to make the fried-noodley dish she used to make for us as kids... it might seem funny, but she invented it as a healthier alternative to instant noodles that my brothers and me love to snack on... and yes she used instant noodles but it's done with so much other yummy stuff like prawns, meat, veggies and shredded omelette and healthier seasonings... it's so hard to resist and a gazillion times better than ramen plain. i've not had it for years... and she was so busy when i was visiting in july that she didn't get a chance to make it... i've been craving it for a while now, so i attempted to make that noodley dish to relive that moment of blissful childhood happiness while eating my mummy's fried noodles.
when inspiration meets availability of ingredients in your fridge or food-cupboard, you are in luck! to be honest, although my creation wasn't quite as good nor as similar it sure made me feel so much better!
..............
my little nice is absolutely adorable... and quite a character! her auntie (yours truly) is thrilled by the pictures she gets of the wee toddler growing and learning and being happy...
here are some of the recent pictures... (courtesy of her proud parents! John & Lynette)
[from top to bottom, left - right : Raeanne babbling with my mummy (her granny) at Muthu's Curry Restaurant, where our family had dinner before i left Singapore the next day (july'07). she was wearing the wee little dress i got her!; Raeanne excited that she's holding the camera case; my big brother John exclaimed: "Upcoming Manchester United Fan and Supporter!!!" and you can see why...; Raeanne getting her happy-feet ready for the many millions of steps she'll make!]
she's grown so much!!! and hardly a year old yet! isn't she amazing?!
yesterday's bridge-tragedy is another reminder of how easily one could slip away from this world... it was surreal and the scene looks terrible on telly. i have not been near the site -- thank you for the phonecalls and emails!... and am glad that i rarely travel to and from that area, which is very near the university campuses, unless i have paper-work to sort or health-appointments to make. i am based at the a medical centre some 30mins away. but you never know just when something like that might happen. there are hundreds of bridges in the twin-cities that span across the mississippi... i ride across one at least twice a day to get to work and home... sigh... i feel so sorry for those who've innocently lost their lives... some others are still waiting for the dreaded news of their lost ones... others are hopefully recovering from the traumatic event. there is so much to heal and rebuild... so many questions to answer...
other news... i am really upset not to be joining my 10-yr reunion at UWC in Wales... thanks to this great thesis i am supposed to be writing... i fear i have some trouble churning out over 50,000 words... surely you are supposed to be writing it concisely?!
i can't wait till the END of it all... a bonfire of all the papers and articles would be splendid!!! =)
thanks also to the wretched thesis... i am unable to spend too much time with people i like... it's really frustrating... =(
BAAAAAH will be Missing-In-Action for a while... drop me a line if you will... i could do with a bit of positive distraction and encouragements...
two weeks have gone by real quickly... sometimes i wonder what it is about time that makes it both elusive and abstractly concrete. i have lots to update... but all that will need to wait a while. my stopover in Japan was both excruciatingly stressful and hectic (thesis-related-wise) but enjoyable -- that's when i got to get away from the conference! Japan is a fascinating country and returning the 2nd time on my own made it special, particularly exploring the hotsprings area of Hakone on my own despite being linguistically challenged! and also digitally compromised -- my little digital Canon camera i got as a gift some 4 yrs ago died on me... sob.
i also thoroughly enjoyed my brother, wee, and wife, lianne's wedding celebration... (note to all you out there planning weddings etc.: KISS!!! otherwise also understood as "KEEP IT SIMPLE SILLY!"). pity i am flying off before their casual party with close friends... i suspect it would be full of nonsense. they are such a fun couple and their friends are very cheeky, indeed. oh well, i hope they will send me the pictures... and videos... and anecdotes!
it's definitely good to see family... my little niece has grown so much!!! she's got big shiny black beady eyes! and is not quite so flopsy as she was when i first saw her last x'mas! utterly amazing. she's in the doting care of her grandparents and her mum and dad! sadly, i don't think she really remembers auntie mayee... perhaps i should record some lullabies for her... hmm.
being back here also gave me the opportunity to catch up with some old friends from school (e.g. monoceors and vantan with whom i went to indulge in some wizardy-fun; & michelle showed me her little doggies and i got to visit her granny too) and a university friend... all that means a lot to a nomad like me.
one other highlight of my visit in asia is no doubt the food... japanese, chinese, indonesian, malay, indian, singaporean etc. you name it, i eat it! =) you'll have to visit to appreciate what i really mean... all the bustling activities start from the marketing of ingredients, then into the kitchen, and finally to enjoying the food are quite fascinating experiences! there's a lot revolving around food in asia... which is without doubt an epicurian's paradise!
in any case, more to follow... but i better get on with packing!
i can't believe what i found in my post a few days ago... i was merely curious... but HOM's Serta-dealer sent me a sheep!
.... baaah baaaah baaaaaaaah .... baaah baaaah baaaaaaaah from #49 to you!
i love quirky... and artsy and handmade things!!! particularly if they come along your way when you least expect them! garage-sales are fun events to pick some of these quirky artsy stuff... but so are charity shops... particularly in the UK. alas, they aren't such a common thing here in the US, so i'll have to content with the more popular garage sales...
this weekend the apartment estate held a garage sale and quite a lot of residents participated... i really ought to have had done so too, but the thought of it kinda sparked only the night before... i didn't think there was much i wanted to get rid of, just yet... but i contemplated on baking brownies/cakes to sell... but then i gave up the idea... really quite terrible, really... sigh.
in any case, i participated in a different way... i found this vintage-looking and handmade white-washed mirror with black hooks (which are idiosyncratically different!) ... i didn't really bargain... kinda just asked how low the person will go with his price... and brought it home @ US$5! it's actually pieced together using the wooden planks of an old door and it's going to go up next to the main door of my apartment entrance... and while i am at it, i should also get my mummy's beautiful pictures framed and put up on the walls too!
i slept in... missed dancing... but it's quite a treat to sleep in, particularly when i've a proper bed, finally. a Serta perfect sleeper! hmmmmmm... that was a present to myself. yes. i decided that a goodnight's sleep is worth that investment... i wasn't sure how long i was staying when i first arrived, so i made do with a thick new futon-mattress that i got for the free futon frame i found. i still don't know how long i would be staying but i got some $$$ back from the federal tax so i could actually afford a basic necessity. furniture isn't included in apartment rentals here in the US (& Germany and possibly Australia), and so there's quite a lot of logistics when one moves. in any case, i've been pretty minimalistic in many ways... but now i get to enjoy a nice firm bed with comfy mattress pad on top of it! i dare you to get me out of bed! hahhahahha.... hmmm i love my bed!
some girls were interested in my old futon (craigslist is an amazing invention!) and came to pick it up in the rain... bit by bit we dismantled it and they fit the pieces into the van... with time, it was as though the rain dissolved it. now i have only one handcrafted wooden futon left which is a real nice guest bed, if anyone should visit! and if you are really nice, i can take you on a zippy zip in the hourcar too! =)
anyways, i was real unproductive wrt work yesterday... but i caught up a little with sabine who's currently in Göttingen, i got my laundry done... and got to know my new neighbour from upstairs a little... she has an electric piano and plays it beautifully... i hope i might get to tinker on it someday! but perhaps it is more likely that we might do some duets one day... that is if i practice playing the cello more... hmmm.
how did you guys spend your saturday?!
i was off to the suburbs again! this time, it was for K's graduation party, and a wonderful excuse to catch up with her sister, C, parents, D & T, and sweet Bailey boy, the Irish terrier! high-school graduation parties, as i am told and am beginning to appreciate, are apparently a Minnesotan affair. i don't remember having one of these growing up... and suspect that anything vaguely similar would have to be a get-together outing that people do with friends during the vacation. no, i didn't ever have a high-school graduation party... the farewell dinner in Wales was something quite surreal... people were leaving in the night, bound for far-away places... many of whom i may never see again... i wonder if i might make it to my own 10-yr reunion! i sure hope so. in any case, the concept of graduation parties is a pretty interesting one... families have their own for their graduating child, and parents of students at the school collaborate to host one for the graduating class; the philosophy (at least part of it) behind it all is to (help) make sure that kids do not get into chemical-related trouble... i suspect the other bit of the apparent enthusiasm might be a Mid-western thing; it's a close-knit community and parents are very much involved in pretty much everything...
i often take so much of such parental-worries for granted. the childhood that me, my brothers, and my friends experienced, is probably one of the most sheltered you could probably have... then again, times have greatly changed. but i knew of the dangers and the 'stigmatisation' too of getting into that sort of things... yet, i am often awed by the enormous courage and trust that my parents have to let us flee their nests for the crazy western civilisation, aware of the potential 'harm' that we may encounter! then again, i know pretty well how rebellious i am particulary when it comes to asserting my own freedom!
ahh freedom... with it comes responsibilities; something i learnt, the hard way. the 'access' to freedom is part of growth... and celebration of life transitions is certainly a wonderful way to embrace these changes positively. 
there's nothing better to do so with family and friends; people who've watched you grow, and people who have been part of it too! i feel honoured to be part of the company at K's party... even though i don't particularly feel quite influential in any way... but it made me feel special to be able to share the family's friendship.
as the party trickled into the night, a bonfire was made in the garden pit... K, her friend H, D,T, C and i sat around the warm fire and shared experiences... i got to roast a marshmallow with C's help and let it sit on top of my brownie cake before enjoying it! B was briefly about trying to pick up a few scrapes of delicious left-overs. the moist after-rain night felt refreshing and earthy. there's something magical about a bonfire. it draws people in. its warmth is comforting... and the smell of burning firewood rekindles so many fond memories...
i have no idea whether Google Language Tools translated it appropriately... "私は日本を訪問する!" is what it spewed out. does anyone know how it ought to be pronounced or articulated?! there's only one word or two characters i am certain of: "日本" == Nippon; the Japanese word for Japan... and i am guessing that "訪問" has to do with visiting... even though it looks to me more like 'interview' or a term for some "official diplomatic visit"... everything else is japanese to me!
in any case, i will be stopping in Japan, for about 5 days en-route to Singapore (for a family wedding & US-visa-paper-bureaucracy) in the first week of July! i am attending a conference in Yokohama, during which i will embarrass myself in front of some strangers trying to explain to them what it is i am trying to investigate in my research.
that aside, i was wondering if any of you might have some good suggestions of where i ought to go, during my spare time... and how i might find the chocolate boutique of Pierre Hermé Paris, in Tokyo... i've heard so much about it... and am really intrigued.
i hope to visit the RIKEN institute and i am also thinking of maybe hiking up Mt Fuji... if i can fit it in; i wonder if anyone has done that and would care to let me know how to get to the starting trail? i'd love to try some wonderful Japanese sweets and food... and visit a shrine to make some wishes for the future, too!
drop me a line or two if any of you dear readers have suggestions for me e.g. accommodations / places to visit / things to try etc.! i'd really appreciate it! =C)
for a while, i've noticed the signs "HOURCAR"at the lightrail station i stop at nearly every day when i don't cycle to work... i've also noticed a spiffy car parked at the lightrail station when usually cars aren't parked there longer than 20mins max. hmm... something seemed odd and potentially fascinating... so i decided to dig deeper into the mystery.
it took a while, BUT now i am a member of the HOURCAR car-share in the twin-cities!i am glad they accepted my UK driver's license and clean driving record! RAH! to test out the idea, i booked a wee slot of time this afternoon, cycled to the car, and did a grocery run at United Noodles. zipping, or rather, gilding about in one of these spiffy HYBRIDs feels pretty space-age, if you ask me!
i also braved the crazy network of highways to REI, the outdoor gear store, and TARGET to pick up a few things with AM (the navigator) who needed some stuff too! but alas, i didn't manage to get all my errands done (i didn't make it to the superTARGET at roseville... sob)... but i sure got a wee kick out of the fact that i got to drive ppl around today, instead of being driven, otherwise... =) kinda nice... although, anyone who's been my passenger(s) will know i am quite a nervous driver... oh well! i can only get better with practice! hahah
car-sharing is a pretty new but more common phenomenon in 'old' Europe. i think it started in the european continent in places like Germany and Switzerland and inspired similar trends in the UK; i lived near a car-share hub in Edinburgh before venturing into usa... as car-ownership seemed like the default practice for most people, i was pleasantly surprised that the idea or philosophy migrated to the States too... perhaps if the gas prices keep soaring (as they are!)... people will be forced into sharing cars... meanwhile the 'luxury' of owning a car here seems like a norm due to some form of 'necessity'.
i am not sure how this car-share thing will pan out... it seems like a wonderful (green & hippy) idea for running errands, particularly when i don't own a car (which is quite a huge responsibility, never mind the cost of it... something i am not sure if i can really afford...). and i get to drive a really cool car when i do! the only thing is that i've got to make sure i fit all my errands in within the time slot... so there's no dilly-dallying when it comes to using the HOURCAR... hmm ... guess it will teach me to be less indecisive... and i suppose i could rent a car over a longer period if i need to... like when i make my road-trip to somewhere exciting, someday... hmmmmm... hopefully, i'll still get to drive a spiffy car then!
i've not managed to update my little adventures lately... so this is a little catch-up on my nomadic experience...
some weekends ago (seems like nearly four?!), i had a trip to the suburbs to help out looking after a wee furry dog.
if dog-sitting were to be made fun... it had to be with a particular combination of enticements... like a personal mexican omelette chef, a grand piano for someone who's quite deprived of the opportunity to tinker on ebonies & ivories, the lure of outdoors, ... and of course a good-natured pooch:
Max, the pooch, has an incredibly social personality... and an obsession with his tennis balls. the first time we met, Max greeted me with a belly-rub request -- some dogs (like sweet Bailey) just know who they could approach for what they want! -- and proceeded to show me his ball tricks that AM taught him. he could play all day with himself and is utterly amusing to watch, almost like a feline-canine... which i hesitate to state... for his owners are not cat-lovers... hee.
a few of the lovely things one can do in the suburbs include walking in the woods and by the lake... the promenade of Wayzata by Lake Minnetonka reminded me of the scene of historical towns like the sets used in Dr. Quinn, Medicine Women (an american drama series, which i have to confess being quite addicted to while growing up), only somewhat modernized... with Ben&Jerry's ice-cream palor, a quaint little tea-room, small clothing stores, and restaurants with patios over-looking the lake, from which one enjoys a good probablity of witnessing the sunset. when the temperature starts heating up, sail boats will be dotting the lake and the quietness of winter will give way to the summery bustle... only to be interrupted by the passing of the cargo trains along the tracks.
perhaps what i need is a suburban panacea once in a while... to get through with this crazy thesis-finishing-up process! hmmm... on second thoughts, perhaps only after the pollen season... aaacchhoooooo!
bloody scene @ Virginia Tech...
what an inhumane, senseless and brutal world we live in... ?!?!?!?!
*** updates:
some more issues that ought to be re-addressed... and most urgently!
questions and issues swimming in my head...
* WHY ARE GUNS so easily obtained in this country?!?! it's bloody SCARY! ... & really, it doesn't make the place safer to have guns!!!
* types of coping strategies / life-skills that parents, schools and community ought to share and teach?!?!? what is education if not to groom sensible all-rounded beings?!
* communication... we don't communicate our problems or learn to reslove issues peacefully... we are rather dysfunctional social beings!
* media & politics have almost made it look as though it's really okay/normal to use violence to resolve conflicts... ?!?
* don't people have some morals and some COMMON SENSE & INTELLIGENCE?!?!
-- other's commentary:
>> "dance is the new thin" i don't think it's terribly 'new' but rather than focussing on "thin"... i think being toned, supple and STRONG seem to be the healthy and sensible way in going about life and fashion! i am looking forward to more dancing while my poor muscles recuperate from saturday's ballet class... it's been a while... but it can only get better! =C)
>> postman-anecdotes... i love everthing that is related to the post.. like stamps, envelopes, paper... correspondence... parcels! and even anecdotes of a postman's daily route... "BEWARE of CAT"... is my current little read when i need a wee break from number crunching and all things seemingly scientific... it's also a wee insight to some bits of life in minnesota...
>> spring is here!!! spring is here!!! did you notice that the snow finally melted?!?!?!?
>> life's 'necessity': mingle with (witty / clever / cheeky) people who make you laugh... because laughter is good for you.
>> MINT is great in salads... tabouleh... and in tea! chocolates! coffee (methinks!)... cookies... toothpaste... soap, cream... i suppose it's great in a lot of things!
i've been working long hours... crunching numbers... re-crunching numbers... programming... debugging... and am feeling pretty burnt out... and literally under the crazy weather... we just had a couple of inches of snow in april! more in the north... and the trees are just releasing their spores and pollen too... so it's all helping me keep sane...
felt awful yesterday and decided to leave work at lunch time to go home and try to get some rest and work from home instead... at least that was the grand plan.
i got onto the lightrail and plonked myself onto the side seats that are located in the middle of each carriage, and was very much in a daze. my lightrail journeys to and from work are short. 2 stops! and i am out to catch the next bus homeward... 2 stops... OH! yes my stop! it arrived... i hastily got up and stepped out onto the platform... ran towards the bus that was waiting to leave the berth...
hmm my purse... hmm... no it's not in my rucksack... but in the cotton bag with my tupper-boxes for lunch and termos flask... oh darn... OH!!!! HELP. the train's tail was just disappearing into the distance.... aaaahhhh!
tried to explain my brief spell of lack of concentration leading to the mishap to the bus driver and asking if he could contact the rail controller or someone... he gave me a number to dial and i got to speak to the lost&found department and reported the mishap while trying to catch the next lightrail downtown, in attempt to catch the previous train.
i will have literally 2 mins to hop across the platform when i got to the very end of the tracks to speak to the driver who's supposedly driving the other train wherein i've left my lunch bag... before he headed backwards in the opposite direction... 2 mins!
my heart was racing... and the thought of missing the other train and all that could have happened from the time i lost my wee bag to if and when i get to catch the driver tormented me... anyone could have seen it, picked it up and walked away with it... and people do! i've IDs from various countries... cards i don't even want to report lost... oh my goodness! how could i have been so careless?!?!? arrrggggh... and i am feeling awful enough... i don't really want to deal with more stuff!!! cringe...
i have only me, myself, and i... to blame... if anything awful happened...
the train i was on had to make a stop at another station along its route for the occasional staff-change... the extra delay meant i couldn't catch the previous train at the end of the tracks as suggested by the lost&found personnel... i rang the MetroTransit phoneline again... the lost&found personnel i next spoke to suggested that i got off at the stop before the last and the previous train should be heading towards that station... and a note will be sent to the driver to let him know...
i got off and not long after saw the lightrail approaching from the other end... got to the end where the driver would be stopping and hoped for the best... he smiled and opened the driver's window and asked if the beige cotton bag belonged to me. i could hardly believe it! nodding my head i said yes!!! and offered my name as a form of identification... everything was still in there, he reassured. and true to his words, everything was.
i couldn't thank him enough... and all the honest people who had the good heart to leave it where it was. oh my! you don't know how relieved i felt... and how much more awake i was!
what a crazy adventure... and how lucky i was... doubly lucky -- 1) not to have encountered rail-ticket-masters who check if you have a valid rail-ticket, and 2) for retrieving my belongings intact!!! so i could actually go home... phew.
lots going on... too much... i wanted to write about the film "Das Leben Der Anderen" i watched recently (it's beautifully done! highly recommended.)... but it's still an unwritten draft in the making... some day some day... sigh.
have been trying to write up my thesis... and it opened up a few cans of worms... culminated in me currently reworking my analyses to make them better... so i hope it will be worth the stress and missing out on going skiing with my brother and lianne... am real bummed about that... sob.
and i just heard, not too long ago, that my brother and lianne are leaving NYC for good, it seems... NO... it's for real, and very soon, like next week or so... i should be happy for them, for their new adventures and experiences, I AM, I TRULY AM! but am at the same time, very sad that they will be far away again... sob.
been staying at work till ... real late, well, early, well, late. it's relative how you see it... L, the cleaner-guy feels awfully sorry for me... so am i. and i hate to wallow in self-pity but i am feeling miserable. what i started to rework was lost when the linux server died... so while each step i take to go forward, i am pushed back another 5... i need more bounce to get back to where i was... and get this wretched thesis done... it's like climbing up a mountain... i need to hope that someday i'll get to the top to see the view... i must.
wish me luck... i NEED it.
the late arrival of the abundance of snow this winter reminds me of the snowy wonderland experiences i had in germany... cycling on the fresh powder snow and sleighing down the Österberg hill, skiing and snowman-making. memories... precious indeed...
it has been quite a long time since i've been back to germany... so when an invited talk at a research lab in the former german east came up some time early this year, i took the opportunity to go, and to visit Berlin, a city i have heard so much about, but have never visited while i was studying in Tübingen.
i had quite an adventure getting to the east of germany... cancelled flights, re-routing, and lost baggage... the extreme temperatures in the usa made it impossible for the ground-staff at the airport to de-ice the planes... there were also a mishap that occured a few gates from where my flight was scheduled to depart... kind of freaky with a nwa-plane ending up on top of a baggage-loading truck. lots of commotion... i couldn't even begin to imagine if the driver was dead or badly injured... i really hope not. it was terribly awful...
when i arrived in Leipzig, i spent the first hours of my arrival in distress; my baggage didn't make it onto my connecting flights... wondering what i ought to do with myself for the next day when i was due to give my talk... instead of resting, i roamed the old town of Leipzig and blabbered in my somewhat rusty german to find something decent to wear the next day...
the germany i knew, unlike asia, or the uk, or the usa for that matter, has quite a tradition in his (yes, because germans call their country, fatherland) working hours... at least that was what i knew when i lived in swabia... to my surprise, though, Leipzig proved to be quite an anomaly... shops at the newly built Hauptbahnhof (train station), were in business till 10pm... upkeeping the city's known status as the oldest trading centre of germany in the era prior to WWII. i did find something at the Esprit sale rack and a pair of trousers... lingerie... toiletries... and something to eat.
one thing i really appreciate when i am in a different country, city or place, is the convenience of street stalls in asia, the little grocery stores and take-aways of britain, new york... yet, i do appreciate the weekday-work-and-weekend-rest ethos of central europe too... it's something that is quite sacred and guarded, and very rightly so.
in any case, i had a rather mixed experience in Leipzig... which may be reflected by the state of the city and its apparent appearance to an outsider, foreigner, like myself. i feel the great dichotomy of extreme warmth of the local people, particularly in helping me find what i needed, and showing me around, and yet, at the same time, a level of poshness by a few elites, the cold retail dominance post the fall of the Berlin-wall, and an erie sadness in the mixture of old Gründerzeit buildings, communist era (GDR) architecture, and modern signature glass structures. most of the orignal inhabitants are no longer living in Leipzig; fled to the west, in hope of a better future, while those from the west have slowly moved in, because of the relatively cheaper cost of living and progressively booming trade scene.
the old town of Leipzig is rather charming... famous churches (Nikolai -- where the reformation began; Thomas -- where J.S. Bach was the city's music cantor), old quaint little Kaffe-hause... market place, town-hall areas... if not for the bold and gaudy modern retail departmental stores, entertainment centre, offices etc. sprouting in place of the old buildings that do not seem to withstand the neglect of the communist episode. it is a fascinating on-going place of change and reshaping... not just the physical image of the city, but also its peoples identity...
Bach is honoured outside the Thomas Kirche, by Felix Mendelssohn, also a celebrity of the music city
i was perhaps more affected by the reception i had at the research lab... partly my own fault for assumming all reserach labs of the particular kind in germany, would be the same, and partly for having gotten used to the hospitality and causalness i've enjoyed in the many places i've been fortunate to visit and worked... it was a bit of a disappointment, too, in that the older generation researchers i spoke to had pretty set ideas of the way things should be done... or how one's path of research should be paved... i do admire people who have built a strong history of a particular background, but i also feel that a degree of open-mindedness to other related fields is just as important... particularly in neuroscience.
perhaps one crucial thing i did begin to realise was that no matter how much german language, cultural understanding, etc. i have gained in my past experiences, it was not going to be enough for me to be fully integrated in the society... no matter how much i love the fact that germans and the continental europeans are so much more culturally, philosophically, politically, and environmentally aware and involved in public discussion. it is a sad realisation that there are at times limits to complete assimilation... that there are perhaps practical reasons why people tend to choose places that share the same language and heritage in their decisions to emigrate... and perhaps age has taught me to be less adventurous than i had previously been.
nonetheless, i was grateful for the opportunity to share my work with those who seemed interested enough to ask provocative questions, and help me reflect on my work and ways to improve it... it was also good to have visited and to have explored the work ethos, atmosphere of the lab, and to decide if it would be for me, just as much as it was for them to consider if i might be suitable for the post. in the end, i am glad it was mutual, although a little un-nerving; one always end up feeling inadequate in some ways. (BTW: thanks for the well-wishes that was left on my earlier post!)
in any case, i have some great memories to keep; giving a talk in the Wilhelm Wundt lecture room is quite an honour, not just because he's considered the father of psychology, and neuroscience, but also because it happened to be located in the city he lived and taught; i got to visit Bach's place of work and creativity; and most fun of all, to visit Berlin with dear friend f, who met up with me in the east.
here are some of the places we visited during the day-trip to Berlin:
remnants of the wall, which used to run through Postdamer Platz, now the site location of Sony Center, Berlin. the colorful facade belonged to the west... behind in the skyline, are modern skyscrapers of PWC and DaimerCrysler bringing forward the financial and economic opportunities much needed for Berlin's re-emergence.
relics of the former east: traffic lights with walking green-man and stationary red-guy... an icon and symbol that marks what used to be parts of eastern germany. uniquely in Berlin, both western and eastern traffic lights co-exist. notice too, the old-fashioned german "ß" on the street sign, which also has a french accent!
Denkmal für die ermordeten Juden Europas -- Holocaust Memorial by architect Peter Eisenman.
while the sculpture has a sombre feel to it, i couldn't resist a peek from one of the towering stelaes. the labyrinth of undulating columns of differing heights have an erie feeling of isolation and incomprehensible desolation...
Brandenburg Gate... the symbol of Berlin and Germany... now surrounded by foreign embassies, most notably, the allied countries of the west, and Starbucks Coffee!
the German Parliarment: Reichstag; Dem Deutsche Volke -- "for the German Folk". it is usually uncommon for germans to display nationalistic tendencies; a post WWII-trait (something which i find endearing) ... this is probably the only place where you will see german flags been hoisted with pride... notice the long queue of humans snaking along the steps towards the entrance... we had to brave the freezing weather for about an hour to enter the building... but it was well worth it for the bird's eye view from the Dome (below), designed by British architect Sir Norman Forster, was simply wonderful.
the energy-saving mirror column within the Reichstag Glass Dome. the spirally walk-way brings visitors to the very top of the dome, rendering a spectacular view of the city... and a peek onto the ongoings of the debates within the parliarment... an epitome of an "open" parliarment.
police on horseback riding past the Swiss Embassy on the left and to the right, Chancellor Merkel's office, the Bundeskanzleramt.
the icon of former eastern propaganda -- the tv-tower... pretty cool space-like structure, if you ask me.
anyone who visits Berlin by train will be greeted by its impressive glass train-station... although it is enduring an engineering mishap, thanks to the last-minute changes to its design in order to shorten part of its roof structure so that it would be open in time for the 2006 world-cup. quite an un-german thing to do...
one important historical fact i learnt while in Berlin was that, the former split-city, was in the former east of Germany. such that west Berlin used to be an island in the east... i, ignorant me, had no idea of this rather ridiculous situation in which the western allies subjected themselves for nearly 50 years; the awkwardness and apparent chasm marked by the wall, must have been quite an experience. as the rebuilding continues to smooth the past historical differences and merge the two cities... one could not but notice the richness and charm that has continued to exist in tandem... i will have to visit Berlin again... some day. for there were so many other places of interests which i didn't manage to visit... particularly the museums and the option to listen to the Berlin Philharmonic Orchestra perform... hmm.
tuesday's poem from The Writer's Almanac seems to echo the state of affairs... the long-anticipated snow did arrive... dumping its soft crystals all over and stalling traffic... the scenery is a mixture of magnificent white, muddy grey, and haze. ... and it continues to snow...
Snow-Flakes
Out of the bosom of the Air,
Out of the cloud-folds of her garments shaken,
Over the woodlands brown and bare,
Over the harvest-fields forsaken,
Silent, and soft, and slow
Descends the snow.
Even as our cloudy fancies take
Suddenly shape in some divine expression,
Even as the troubled heart doth make
In the white countenance confession,
The troubled sky reveals
The grief it feels.
This is the poem of the air,
Slowly in silent syllables recorded;
This is the secret of despair.
Long in its cloudy bosom hoarded,
Now whispered and revealed
To wood and field.~Henry Wadsworth Longfellow~
... i wonder if i might ski again before the whiteness disappears...
i couldn't resist adding a little color to the apartment to welcome lunar new year in my own little way... the eucalyptus and geberas seem to make a good combination and i had fun coaxing a little 3D dance from the thick skewer-like foilage of the australian native plant... don't you think the arrangement looks splendid?!
went asian food shopping over the weekend, partly to show AM where to get ingredients for his thai-dinner, and got a free cooked soya-chicken! amazing... i was beginning to feel a little sorry that lunar new year is such a non-event here...
then, i had an unexpected thai dinner invite yesterday and will be attempting to make some jiao-zhi dumplings with a few of my colleagues tonight... it's going to be an international gathering, dominated by greeks, there'll possibly be 2 americans (including Courtney!) and then there's moi. it should be fun... and hopefully the food will be edible!
meanwhile... i can only imagine all the goodies i am missing... perhaps the left-overs might end up in a parcel my way?! heeee =C)
hope this will be a wonderful, fruitful and peaceful lunar new year for everyone... enjoy!
i don't remember celebrating Valentine's ever... well not in the lovey-dovey Hallmark way... but i do have fond memories of the "flower-rangers" that delivered carnations the night before to all the valentines and valentins or valentinos in each student dorm at the college in wales... careful not to wake anyone up.
it's a wonderfully fun tradition... and i am certain many ppl yonder are greeted by the smell of carnations this morning... absolutely lovely...
i sent carnations to girls and boys alike... for it is also friendship day! at £1 a stalk including a wee notelet wherein you pen your armorous feelings or fuzzy thoughts... anonymous or not... of course, there are other ways to show your love... some of us baked cookies or bought chocolates instead... but the fun (or dreadful!) part of it is the gossips that linger after.
see, white carnations 'symbolizes' friendship, pink indicates passionate feelings... and red is for love... you wouldn't be alarmed getting white ones or, in effect, the red ones... for love is unconditional and friendship is a form of love too... in fact, many dashing and cheeky guys send red carnations to lots of fellow female students... and it is just full of banter!
what is exciting and perhaps thrilling, are the pink ones... that's what gets you wondering... hmmmm.
pink is in the air... speckled on the cookies found in the office grazing ground... dancing in the hearts of those who find muse on St. Valentine's Day...
and just because it's all pinky everywhere... here's an interesting article about the things that people do, in particular the scientists... in the name of love... or more aptly described as the "2-body" problem ... which is a growing normality in modern day... not just a familiar occurrence for scientists but for people from all walks of life... particularly when different cultural worlds collide.
meanwhile...
am flying out to deutschland today... visiting Leipzig for the very first time... and having to give a talk about what i've been trying to do in my phd research in movement control... i am expected to hear my own voice for about an hour... i think it will be awful... hearing my voice?! oh goodness...
it's also taken me forever to put the talk together... it was an incentive to try to think of how to write up my thesis but it's been real stressful the last 3 weeks... and nearly saw me in distress as i panicked over a likely scenario of re-analyzing my data! thankfully, all that was not necessary but obviously other issues arose out of me trying to tidy up things... figures had to be created... summaries... additional scripts had to be written just for pictures... because fiddling about is not fun...
i hate myself! i am always doing this to me... putting myself in awkward situations like a 'job' interview for a postdoc postion... it sounds dreadfully formal... and i really haven't had a real interview in eons...
eeeks!
WIND CHILL makes it about -10degC COLDER than it already is... which is about -18degC... so it actually feels like -28degC. uninhabitable!!! i was nearly frozen and out of breath walking from the hospital to the borrowed car. oh my... thanks to the borrowed car! i would have been stuck waiting in the extreme cold for the light-rail or the bus... i have wonderful colleagues here!
it's going to be colder... down to feeling like -37degC (-24degC and -13degC windchill-factor) by 8 or 9am... it's SO COLD i could literally freeze on the streets...
i thought we were suffering from global warming?! BRRRRRRRRRRRRR
this is just unbearable... i can't believe it is still able to snow! utterly insane.
it finally snowed. what beauty in those individual white crystals that bring new dimensions to the cold wintry season. the mississippi is frozen and speckley with the white dusting... there's something really magical about snow...
i am trying to write up my thesis... and finish up bits of the data summary that you discover that you maybe should do while writing things up... generate scripts to plot figures... it's difficult... not least because i've never written something this complicated... and it should be substantial enough to warrant all the time you took... and because there's also a lot going through my mind... as well as a lot of question marks... Neruda sums it up eloquently for me... he often does.
"While I am writing, I am far away;
and when I come back, I've gone.
I would like to know if others
go through the same things that I do,
have as many selves as I have,
and see themselves similarly;
and when I have exhausted this problem,
I am going to study so hard
that when I explain myself,
I will be talking geography."from "We are many"; Pablo Neruda,
translated by Alastair Reid
i really like this stanza... its simplicity and truth... and am real glad to have discovered it. in the same collection "Extravagaria", lie many other beautiful, simple, profound verses... i'd like to be able to write poetry in that way... better still, to write a poetic thesis. but i am sure i'd be glad when it's all done, poetic or not.
ARRGH... if we didn't have choice, we'd be better at decision-making... except you'd think you have lost your free-will.
for the past months i've been saving up for what i thought i'd be getting, a mac-book-pro... with all the latest frills maximazing the RAM, HDD, DLDVD, etc. but it seems quite a huge leap to switch between operating systems... don't get me wrong... i do like the Unix system... i just grew up with Windows and there're many things you just get used to because of the many different softwares you use in research... to be honest... I HATE COMPUTERS. they are great when they work. else, they are horrible monsters and vexing frustrations.
i have to get a new laptop soon... my current archaic, ancient, temperamental dell might just give up on me any day, it's motherboard is flaky -- that's the new replaced motherboard mind you (sob... the poor monster has had a couple of serious technical surgeries... thank goodness for extended warranty; don't leave home without it!). i've had it with dell. it's not as good as it used to be. i don't recommend it. period.
so it's between the X60-ultraportable Lenovo and the MacBook pro, with similar specifications.
they are both just as pricey... both with pros and cons...
at the end of the day i just need something portable, reliable, that works, and i can get my thesis done, and use it for future number crunching... brrrrrrrr.
gosh i hate decisions...
BTW, has anyone used BOOTCAMP? apart from the partition at installation of the OS, do you need to include in the partition, hard disk space for mac and windows applications/programmes separately and do the 2 operating systems share the same folders across platforms?! are partitioned macs stable?!
UPDATE!!!
lucky is she who gets a new lab-sponsored laptop... it's an ibm-lenovo with all the specs i want... maybe i might get to buy it off the lab if i end up loving it! that means... i get to wait a bit more wrt macs... what can i say... i am ALL SMILES =C)
i'ts nearly 6am and i am AWAKE! with my brown beady eyes... and contemplating what to have for breakfast... i just peeped out through the bedroom window... the moon is a smiling crescent and the chill lingers. it's freezing cold... nearly -20degC including the deathly wind-chill... and hardly any signs of snow... the forecasters think we might get some though, and i sure hope so! winter without snow is like summer without sun... i'd like to make snow-angles and some snow sheep... baaaaah.
Relearning Winter
"Hello Winter, hello flanneled
blanket of clouds, clouds
fueled by more clouds, hello again.Hello afternoons,
off to the west, that silver
of sunset, rust-colored
and gone too soon.And night (I admit to a short memory)
you climb back in with chilly fingers
and clocks, and there is no refusal:
ice cracks the water main, the garden hose
stiffens, the bladed leaves of the rhododendron
shine in the fog of a huge moon.And rain, street lacquer,
oily puddles and spinning rubber,
mist of angels on the head of a pin,
hello,and snow, upside-down cake of clouds,
white, freon scent, you build
even as you empty the world of texture
hello to this new relief,
this new solitude now upon us,
upon which we feed."by Mark Svenvold from Soul Data.
© University of North Texas Press.
the first seagull i got to know was Jonathan Livingston... that was nearly another lifetime ago... i've always liked the idea of learning to fly... not least it makes it seem easier getting from one place to another... and you don't have to subject yourself to the incessantly frustrating and rather dehumanizing experience of air-travel these days; btw, thanks to apparently new CIA security measures, travellers from many european countries and british colonies will have to have all their paw-pads scanned during customs & immigration come summer. maybe it would be easier if we all could fly like birds do (-- we might learn to carry less baggage! ha) ... but perhaps it would be much 'simpler' if we all trusted, respected, and loved each other... A LOT more than we currently do.
aeronautics and musings aside, the use of seagulls seems to be a recurring theme in literature... Anton Chekov wrote The Seagull in 1896, a play which speaks of the materialistic dreams that often cloud one's pursuit of happiness... and of breaking from tradition to find one's voice, to be. the protagonist of the play, Constantines, is the seagull who perishes because of individualistic idealism... a dramatic end, which starkly contrasts with those who live and (seemingly) readily/blindly accept the societal norms and vogue of the 'old' Zeitgeist...
if seagulls are the emblem for freedom, individualism and/or idealism... i sure have an affinity for them...
pondering seagulls; Aldinga Beach
... and i hope they will remain a reminder of hope and the fact that it is alright to be different.
there were a couple of bits and bobs of 2006 that i never got to share... y'know... how one gets caught in the whirlwind of life, living, and being...
so here's to remembering some of these forgotten bits of travelling, visiting, and participating:
SNOWBIRD, april 2006
i learnt to ski properly... did little curvy turns to cut down blue trails... and overcame some of my fears...
LONDON, july 2006
view from TATE modern, onto the Millenium Bridge, and St. Paul, on the other side of the Thames.
N & f on Millenium Bridge
chairman Mao has a permanent perch in London
delirious after finishing the London 10K... at a snail's pace of about 70mins... =C)
riding the London Eye...
dinos at the Natural History Museum...
the intricately carved stone pillars and walls of the NHM are just as mesmerising as the skeletal remains
i befriended a beautiful puss... who doesn't rely on his boots and hat to charm...
EDINBURGH, july 2006
who could resist a walk along the crags, which coil round the cheeks of Arthur's Seat and wind towards the Holyrood Palace (Queen's Scottish Residence); particularly when the view overlooks to the Castle, the Firth of Fife Bridge in the greater distance, and the new Scottish Parliament below?
"There is hope in honest error,
None in the icy perfection of the mere stylist"
Charles Rennie Mackintosh's quote engraved among others on the outer wall of the Parliament
a visit to Edinburgh is not complete without popping round to r's for a cuppa tea... and saying hello to the sea from portobello beach
and you MUST indulge in some handmade ganache at Plaisir du Chocolat along the Royal Mile... it's absolutely divine.
TWIN CITIES, october 2006
i welcomed a new stripey mellowy friend into my apartment... who's just visiting for a wee while...
ADELAIDE, december 2006
sand castles sprouting on Aldinga beach...
