feeling the butterflies...

i have been fiddling with a couple of entries describing the various things i've tried to do to occupy my 'rambling', wandering mind since i submitted my crazy monster of a phd thesis nearly 2 weeks ago on a friday... but all of them are pretty much less than half-baked! it almost seemed like my mind's buzzing and yet determined to avoid all things involving stringing thoughts into a coherent whole. i apologize if this entry is gibberish... but i thought i needed to at least attempt to coax myself into being focussed again... for there's still the dreaded oral examination that will supposedly determine my worthiness of being an official 'arm-chair philosopher'... who would have thought that the apparent descriptor that's often times indirectly assumed by people engaged in a bit of reflection and pondering required official verification?! hmm?! baaaah.

i get all nervous and weak thinking of the impending grilling against which i'll have to provide my independent defence... and now i wish i didn't write all that 200 pages of *crap* or *scientific garb*... eeks. now there's a million of possible ways i could be attacked! HELP! where are the portable rabbit-burrows?!?!?

alas! my poor brain does not wish to deal with all that it had to address in the last 2-3 months; intense integration of ideas, thoughts, etc., the perpetual need for intelligible word-spewing, and the editing marathon that seemed never-ending... boy was it a crazy whirlwind! maybe i do need a break! sigh... what a dilemma!!!