lots going on... too much... i wanted to write about the film "Das Leben Der Anderen" i watched recently (it's beautifully done! highly recommended.)... but it's still an unwritten draft in the making... some day some day... sigh.
have been trying to write up my thesis... and it opened up a few cans of worms... culminated in me currently reworking my analyses to make them better... so i hope it will be worth the stress and missing out on going skiing with my brother and lianne... am real bummed about that... sob.
and i just heard, not too long ago, that my brother and lianne are leaving NYC for good, it seems... NO... it's for real, and very soon, like next week or so... i should be happy for them, for their new adventures and experiences, I AM, I TRULY AM! but am at the same time, very sad that they will be far away again... sob.
been staying at work till ... real late, well, early, well, late. it's relative how you see it... L, the cleaner-guy feels awfully sorry for me... so am i. and i hate to wallow in self-pity but i am feeling miserable. what i started to rework was lost when the linux server died... so while each step i take to go forward, i am pushed back another 5... i need more bounce to get back to where i was... and get this wretched thesis done... it's like climbing up a mountain... i need to hope that someday i'll get to the top to see the view... i must.
wish me luck... i NEED it.
THREE --- i've been tagged
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
3 things that scare me:
going blind; or losing any functionality of being
violence & darkness...
losing my freedom / or the feeling of being trapped.
3 people who make me laugh:
ANM, Ulli, Des
calvin&hobbes (they don't really count but they are funny!)
mummy (at times)
3 things I love:
nature: the hills, mountains, the sand, sea, wind, snow, sunshine... etc.
exploring cultures, places, food, arts, history...
learning
3 things I hate:
feeling incompetent and hopeless
disorganised clutter and mess
losing my independence
3 things I don’t understand:
why humans could never really live together and accept that we are all different and have our needs
why we haven't found a way to resolve conflicts and differences other than the use of violence, war, and psychological trauma.
why we are inherently insecure beings
3 things on my desk:
a wee moleskine pocket weekly notebook
a glass jar of FIREWOOD scent HENRI BENDEL candle
a phamplet listing of performances organised by the Chopin Society of Minnesota
3 things I’m doing right now:
converting binary data into matlab files on linux server remotely / tidying up files / programming scripts to redo analyses... =C(
contemplating what i need to put down on my food&grocery shopping list & what to have for dinner
contemplating if i should call and sign-up for DSL or internet-cable... (yes i am still a frugal dial-up user! how sad.)
3 things I want to do before I die:
find somewhere i could call home... while still being able to explore parts of the world...
write a non-fiction
set up a wee overacuppa teahouse/cafe even if it might just end up being my wee little abode where friends and family could pop over for cultural/artsy chill-out experiences etc.
3 things I can do:
bake a NewYork cheese cake drizzled with homemade blueberry sauce
dance to my heart's content, when nobody is watching...
navigate better than most of my male friends and get them where they want to go!
3 things you should listen to:
gut-feelings and conscience
constructive criticisms
any music or sound that comes from the heart, mind, and soul...
3 things you should never listen to:
words of those who are uber confident and judgemental OR those who are desperate to please
SNORING
propaganda
3 things I’d like to learn:
to listen to my instincts/gut-feeling more
to play the cello more beautifully...
to communicate better
3 favorite foods: (i have to 'expand' the theme of 3 here... because i love so many different types of food!)
Asian -- too many delicious stuff.
GOOD quality (dark) chocolates and truffles and i would add panna cotta to this list of desserts!
good Fusion cooking... the right herbs and spices and good fresh ingredients... etc.
3 beverages I drink regularly:
TEA!!!
hot-chocolate / green chai latte / doubleshots
water
3 TV shows/Books I watched/read as a kid:
the Muppets / Fraggle Rock (Jim Henson)
Roald Dahl's (but not everything he wrote... yet! someone stole my Omnibus!!!)
AEsop's fables
3 people I have to tag:
Des, Courtney, Ulli (if they would like to take it up...)
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
it has been a while ago, since i tweaked with the styles of this wee blog... i had obviously not considered making it reader-friendly to all possible browsers... in part since i am not a xhtml etc. guru... my sincere apologies to you kind readers who have suffered quietly...
please bear with me as i fiddle with the styles... it will be an ongoing thing, i suspect... for now, i hope the recent changes will be an improvement for some of you!
thanks again for stopping by and leaving your views! =C)
the late arrival of the abundance of snow this winter reminds me of the snowy wonderland experiences i had in germany... cycling on the fresh powder snow and sleighing down the Österberg hill, skiing and snowman-making. memories... precious indeed...
it has been quite a long time since i've been back to germany... so when an invited talk at a research lab in the former german east came up some time early this year, i took the opportunity to go, and to visit Berlin, a city i have heard so much about, but have never visited while i was studying in Tübingen.
i had quite an adventure getting to the east of germany... cancelled flights, re-routing, and lost baggage... the extreme temperatures in the usa made it impossible for the ground-staff at the airport to de-ice the planes... there were also a mishap that occured a few gates from where my flight was scheduled to depart... kind of freaky with a nwa-plane ending up on top of a baggage-loading truck. lots of commotion... i couldn't even begin to imagine if the driver was dead or badly injured... i really hope not. it was terribly awful...
when i arrived in Leipzig, i spent the first hours of my arrival in distress; my baggage didn't make it onto my connecting flights... wondering what i ought to do with myself for the next day when i was due to give my talk... instead of resting, i roamed the old town of Leipzig and blabbered in my somewhat rusty german to find something decent to wear the next day...
the germany i knew, unlike asia, or the uk, or the usa for that matter, has quite a tradition in his (yes, because germans call their country, fatherland) working hours... at least that was what i knew when i lived in swabia... to my surprise, though, Leipzig proved to be quite an anomaly... shops at the newly built Hauptbahnhof (train station), were in business till 10pm... upkeeping the city's known status as the oldest trading centre of germany in the era prior to WWII. i did find something at the Esprit sale rack and a pair of trousers... lingerie... toiletries... and something to eat.
one thing i really appreciate when i am in a different country, city or place, is the convenience of street stalls in asia, the little grocery stores and take-aways of britain, new york... yet, i do appreciate the weekday-work-and-weekend-rest ethos of central europe too... it's something that is quite sacred and guarded, and very rightly so.
in any case, i had a rather mixed experience in Leipzig... which may be reflected by the state of the city and its apparent appearance to an outsider, foreigner, like myself. i feel the great dichotomy of extreme warmth of the local people, particularly in helping me find what i needed, and showing me around, and yet, at the same time, a level of poshness by a few elites, the cold retail dominance post the fall of the Berlin-wall, and an erie sadness in the mixture of old Gründerzeit buildings, communist era (GDR) architecture, and modern signature glass structures. most of the orignal inhabitants are no longer living in Leipzig; fled to the west, in hope of a better future, while those from the west have slowly moved in, because of the relatively cheaper cost of living and progressively booming trade scene.
the old town of Leipzig is rather charming... famous churches (Nikolai -- where the reformation began; Thomas -- where J.S. Bach was the city's music cantor), old quaint little Kaffe-hause... market place, town-hall areas... if not for the bold and gaudy modern retail departmental stores, entertainment centre, offices etc. sprouting in place of the old buildings that do not seem to withstand the neglect of the communist episode. it is a fascinating on-going place of change and reshaping... not just the physical image of the city, but also its peoples identity...
Bach is honoured outside the Thomas Kirche, by Felix Mendelssohn, also a celebrity of the music city
i was perhaps more affected by the reception i had at the research lab... partly my own fault for assumming all reserach labs of the particular kind in germany, would be the same, and partly for having gotten used to the hospitality and causalness i've enjoyed in the many places i've been fortunate to visit and worked... it was a bit of a disappointment, too, in that the older generation researchers i spoke to had pretty set ideas of the way things should be done... or how one's path of research should be paved... i do admire people who have built a strong history of a particular background, but i also feel that a degree of open-mindedness to other related fields is just as important... particularly in neuroscience.
perhaps one crucial thing i did begin to realise was that no matter how much german language, cultural understanding, etc. i have gained in my past experiences, it was not going to be enough for me to be fully integrated in the society... no matter how much i love the fact that germans and the continental europeans are so much more culturally, philosophically, politically, and environmentally aware and involved in public discussion. it is a sad realisation that there are at times limits to complete assimilation... that there are perhaps practical reasons why people tend to choose places that share the same language and heritage in their decisions to emigrate... and perhaps age has taught me to be less adventurous than i had previously been.
nonetheless, i was grateful for the opportunity to share my work with those who seemed interested enough to ask provocative questions, and help me reflect on my work and ways to improve it... it was also good to have visited and to have explored the work ethos, atmosphere of the lab, and to decide if it would be for me, just as much as it was for them to consider if i might be suitable for the post. in the end, i am glad it was mutual, although a little un-nerving; one always end up feeling inadequate in some ways. (BTW: thanks for the well-wishes that was left on my earlier post!)
in any case, i have some great memories to keep; giving a talk in the Wilhelm Wundt lecture room is quite an honour, not just because he's considered the father of psychology, and neuroscience, but also because it happened to be located in the city he lived and taught; i got to visit Bach's place of work and creativity; and most fun of all, to visit Berlin with dear friend f, who met up with me in the east.
here are some of the places we visited during the day-trip to Berlin:
remnants of the wall, which used to run through Postdamer Platz, now the site location of Sony Center, Berlin. the colorful facade belonged to the west... behind in the skyline, are modern skyscrapers of PWC and DaimerCrysler bringing forward the financial and economic opportunities much needed for Berlin's re-emergence.
relics of the former east: traffic lights with walking green-man and stationary red-guy... an icon and symbol that marks what used to be parts of eastern germany. uniquely in Berlin, both western and eastern traffic lights co-exist. notice too, the old-fashioned german "ß" on the street sign, which also has a french accent!
Denkmal für die ermordeten Juden Europas -- Holocaust Memorial by architect Peter Eisenman.
while the sculpture has a sombre feel to it, i couldn't resist a peek from one of the towering stelaes. the labyrinth of undulating columns of differing heights have an erie feeling of isolation and incomprehensible desolation...
Brandenburg Gate... the symbol of Berlin and Germany... now surrounded by foreign embassies, most notably, the allied countries of the west, and Starbucks Coffee!
the German Parliarment: Reichstag; Dem Deutsche Volke -- "for the German Folk". it is usually uncommon for germans to display nationalistic tendencies; a post WWII-trait (something which i find endearing) ... this is probably the only place where you will see german flags been hoisted with pride... notice the long queue of humans snaking along the steps towards the entrance... we had to brave the freezing weather for about an hour to enter the building... but it was well worth it for the bird's eye view from the Dome (below), designed by British architect Sir Norman Forster, was simply wonderful.
the energy-saving mirror column within the Reichstag Glass Dome. the spirally walk-way brings visitors to the very top of the dome, rendering a spectacular view of the city... and a peek onto the ongoings of the debates within the parliarment... an epitome of an "open" parliarment.
police on horseback riding past the Swiss Embassy on the left and to the right, Chancellor Merkel's office, the Bundeskanzleramt.
the icon of former eastern propaganda -- the tv-tower... pretty cool space-like structure, if you ask me.
anyone who visits Berlin by train will be greeted by its impressive glass train-station... although it is enduring an engineering mishap, thanks to the last-minute changes to its design in order to shorten part of its roof structure so that it would be open in time for the 2006 world-cup. quite an un-german thing to do...
one important historical fact i learnt while in Berlin was that, the former split-city, was in the former east of Germany. such that west Berlin used to be an island in the east... i, ignorant me, had no idea of this rather ridiculous situation in which the western allies subjected themselves for nearly 50 years; the awkwardness and apparent chasm marked by the wall, must have been quite an experience. as the rebuilding continues to smooth the past historical differences and merge the two cities... one could not but notice the richness and charm that has continued to exist in tandem... i will have to visit Berlin again... some day. for there were so many other places of interests which i didn't manage to visit... particularly the museums and the option to listen to the Berlin Philharmonic Orchestra perform... hmm.
