my new caffeine craze is Starbucks' double-shot... i know, i know... it's most terrible... i actually have to admit i am quite particular about my coffee preferences... i have a fondness for good coffee... and Starbucks' rank pretty highly on my list of cuppas...
SHOCKING, you'd say!
well... they do pretty good coffees... at a price of course... it's a lifestyle commodity. and they are not bashful about it. well, at least in some parts of the world, e.g. hippy edinburgh, they do fair-trade coffee in their Starbucks' store, which makes it less terrible for spending that much on coffee because you are supporting fair-trade.
double?! yes double. and milky... it's got to be!
what about your cuppa tea?! you protest?
yes i totally agree... it's sacrilege!
don't get me wrong... i LOVE my tea... i find it soothing and comforting... and gentle... nothing beats a cuppa tea... well, most of the time...
because you see, coffee does the trick to keep me buzzing... particularly if i have to stay up or keep awake, as i am currently trying to...
it's a terrible addiction, but while it manifests, you ought not to compromise quality... that is if you can help it! =C)
but i know my brother will disagree... i once tried to introduce him to good Illy and LavAzza coffees and the french press... but alas... he still prefers instant Nescafé...
it finally snowed. what beauty in those individual white crystals that bring new dimensions to the cold wintry season. the mississippi is frozen and speckley with the white dusting... there's something really magical about snow...
i am trying to write up my thesis... and finish up bits of the data summary that you discover that you maybe should do while writing things up... generate scripts to plot figures... it's difficult... not least because i've never written something this complicated... and it should be substantial enough to warrant all the time you took... and because there's also a lot going through my mind... as well as a lot of question marks... Neruda sums it up eloquently for me... he often does.
"While I am writing, I am far away;
and when I come back, I've gone.
I would like to know if others
go through the same things that I do,
have as many selves as I have,
and see themselves similarly;
and when I have exhausted this problem,
I am going to study so hard
that when I explain myself,
I will be talking geography."from "We are many"; Pablo Neruda,
translated by Alastair Reid
i really like this stanza... its simplicity and truth... and am real glad to have discovered it. in the same collection "Extravagaria", lie many other beautiful, simple, profound verses... i'd like to be able to write poetry in that way... better still, to write a poetic thesis. but i am sure i'd be glad when it's all done, poetic or not.
ARRGH... if we didn't have choice, we'd be better at decision-making... except you'd think you have lost your free-will.
for the past months i've been saving up for what i thought i'd be getting, a mac-book-pro... with all the latest frills maximazing the RAM, HDD, DLDVD, etc. but it seems quite a huge leap to switch between operating systems... don't get me wrong... i do like the Unix system... i just grew up with Windows and there're many things you just get used to because of the many different softwares you use in research... to be honest... I HATE COMPUTERS. they are great when they work. else, they are horrible monsters and vexing frustrations.
i have to get a new laptop soon... my current archaic, ancient, temperamental dell might just give up on me any day, it's motherboard is flaky -- that's the new replaced motherboard mind you (sob... the poor monster has had a couple of serious technical surgeries... thank goodness for extended warranty; don't leave home without it!). i've had it with dell. it's not as good as it used to be. i don't recommend it. period.
so it's between the X60-ultraportable Lenovo and the MacBook pro, with similar specifications.
they are both just as pricey... both with pros and cons...
at the end of the day i just need something portable, reliable, that works, and i can get my thesis done, and use it for future number crunching... brrrrrrrr.
gosh i hate decisions...
BTW, has anyone used BOOTCAMP? apart from the partition at installation of the OS, do you need to include in the partition, hard disk space for mac and windows applications/programmes separately and do the 2 operating systems share the same folders across platforms?! are partitioned macs stable?!
UPDATE!!!
lucky is she who gets a new lab-sponsored laptop... it's an ibm-lenovo with all the specs i want... maybe i might get to buy it off the lab if i end up loving it! that means... i get to wait a bit more wrt macs... what can i say... i am ALL SMILES =C)
i'ts nearly 6am and i am AWAKE! with my brown beady eyes... and contemplating what to have for breakfast... i just peeped out through the bedroom window... the moon is a smiling crescent and the chill lingers. it's freezing cold... nearly -20degC including the deathly wind-chill... and hardly any signs of snow... the forecasters think we might get some though, and i sure hope so! winter without snow is like summer without sun... i'd like to make snow-angles and some snow sheep... baaaaah.
Relearning Winter
"Hello Winter, hello flanneled
blanket of clouds, clouds
fueled by more clouds, hello again.Hello afternoons,
off to the west, that silver
of sunset, rust-colored
and gone too soon.And night (I admit to a short memory)
you climb back in with chilly fingers
and clocks, and there is no refusal:
ice cracks the water main, the garden hose
stiffens, the bladed leaves of the rhododendron
shine in the fog of a huge moon.And rain, street lacquer,
oily puddles and spinning rubber,
mist of angels on the head of a pin,
hello,and snow, upside-down cake of clouds,
white, freon scent, you build
even as you empty the world of texture
hello to this new relief,
this new solitude now upon us,
upon which we feed."by Mark Svenvold from Soul Data.
© University of North Texas Press.
the first seagull i got to know was Jonathan Livingston... that was nearly another lifetime ago... i've always liked the idea of learning to fly... not least it makes it seem easier getting from one place to another... and you don't have to subject yourself to the incessantly frustrating and rather dehumanizing experience of air-travel these days; btw, thanks to apparently new CIA security measures, travellers from many european countries and british colonies will have to have all their paw-pads scanned during customs & immigration come summer. maybe it would be easier if we all could fly like birds do (-- we might learn to carry less baggage! ha) ... but perhaps it would be much 'simpler' if we all trusted, respected, and loved each other... A LOT more than we currently do.
aeronautics and musings aside, the use of seagulls seems to be a recurring theme in literature... Anton Chekov wrote The Seagull in 1896, a play which speaks of the materialistic dreams that often cloud one's pursuit of happiness... and of breaking from tradition to find one's voice, to be. the protagonist of the play, Constantines, is the seagull who perishes because of individualistic idealism... a dramatic end, which starkly contrasts with those who live and (seemingly) readily/blindly accept the societal norms and vogue of the 'old' Zeitgeist...
if seagulls are the emblem for freedom, individualism and/or idealism... i sure have an affinity for them...
pondering seagulls; Aldinga Beach
... and i hope they will remain a reminder of hope and the fact that it is alright to be different.
there were a couple of bits and bobs of 2006 that i never got to share... y'know... how one gets caught in the whirlwind of life, living, and being...
so here's to remembering some of these forgotten bits of travelling, visiting, and participating:
SNOWBIRD, april 2006
i learnt to ski properly... did little curvy turns to cut down blue trails... and overcame some of my fears...
LONDON, july 2006
view from TATE modern, onto the Millenium Bridge, and St. Paul, on the other side of the Thames.
N & f on Millenium Bridge
chairman Mao has a permanent perch in London
delirious after finishing the London 10K... at a snail's pace of about 70mins... =C)
riding the London Eye...
dinos at the Natural History Museum...
the intricately carved stone pillars and walls of the NHM are just as mesmerising as the skeletal remains
i befriended a beautiful puss... who doesn't rely on his boots and hat to charm...
EDINBURGH, july 2006
who could resist a walk along the crags, which coil round the cheeks of Arthur's Seat and wind towards the Holyrood Palace (Queen's Scottish Residence); particularly when the view overlooks to the Castle, the Firth of Fife Bridge in the greater distance, and the new Scottish Parliament below?
"There is hope in honest error,
None in the icy perfection of the mere stylist"
Charles Rennie Mackintosh's quote engraved among others on the outer wall of the Parliament
a visit to Edinburgh is not complete without popping round to r's for a cuppa tea... and saying hello to the sea from portobello beach
and you MUST indulge in some handmade ganache at Plaisir du Chocolat along the Royal Mile... it's absolutely divine.
TWIN CITIES, october 2006
i welcomed a new stripey mellowy friend into my apartment... who's just visiting for a wee while...
ADELAIDE, december 2006
sand castles sprouting on Aldinga beach...
doggies & owners prancing about Aldinga beach
Ruins of Port Willunga, South Australia
this is one of the places i have been last week... down under... where the night sky is full of twinkling stars... the hunter i've known all these years greeted me upside down... and likewise, the creatures of the night. it's lovely to be able to sqeeze in a trip to south-australia, a home away from home for me since i was about 16... almost a lifetime ago.
and indeed... much of my current life is spent away from where i was born and where i lived my first few years... it's not been easy being a nomad... having to transcend different cultural 'norms' across at least 2 generations... you live and learn... even if others don't always follow.
so here's to remembering a beautiful 2006 for all its woes and joys...
... a peaceful and fruitful 2007 to all of you out there!