everything and nothing...

there is a saying... that what you avoid or let slip often returns in other forms of disguise as a reminder of what you had to face... or something like that... i am hopeless with words... clumsy... hmm... but that's not really what i want to blabber about... that, i am sure, is obvious from the various typos spewed on this blog...

sometimes, i wonder if my apparent seemless path from fresh-graduate to further (so-called) 'intellectual pursuits' that led to me doing a phd was a predestined journey to cultivate patience and what people might call, "Character Building"? ... not that i haven't been doing all that even before becoming rebellious... the enfant terrible, i am... funny how parents often crown you with glory in front of others, so that they might bask in it too... i will be the first to admit i am no perfect child and growing up, as i am still learning, is probably one of the most awkward experiences one has to live.

anyways.

sometimes there are so many things swimming about in my mind that i don't even know what i really want to express...

things like, i ran-jogged-walked 10km this scotching spring mid-day along the mississippi river and was joined by a beautiful black and orange butterfly for a short few minutes as it fluttered about as if it might be a reincarnation of a dead friend or relative... cheering me on in my run... a specie of birds that chirped as though they were the 80s computer game of some galactic missile warship... "Diiiiiiiiiuuuuuuuuu...Diiiiiiiiiuuuuuuuuu"... they went in their truly absurdly amusing way. the million(s)-dollar bungalows that line the east and west river parkways are all quite entertaining distractions, which kept me from wondering about how long the mississippi really is... some of them looked like the candie-cottage of the wicked witch in hensel and gretel... some of them are attempts in modern architectural designs... i wonder why americans love their bricks and rocks... other more able runners sped past and speed-walkers made you seem hopelessly SLOW... large-sized men with over-flowing spare 'love-handles' on harley-davidsons revved their engines to attract more attention... you wonder what the rest of the population is up to on this very day...

sometimes, i think there's so much going on in a single day, if one could only record every second of it... Proust did it, attempted to anyways... but he gave himself that job... and lived on it... not everyone has that calibre... or the inheritance!

did i ever mention to you how disconcerting i find the friendliness of americans at times?! i get them 'chatting' me up at supermarket cashiers, light-rail stations, bus-stops, and whatnots... people always seem to want to know about you... whether or not you are interested in talking to them... i am not used to this form of 'friendliness' and i think it's intrusive... and presumptious.

worse still, you get harrassed by phonecallers who are supposedly trying to do fund-raising... they ask you to donate over the phone for something you have not heard of, and they don't even care to send information and wouldn't accept NO for an answer... you tell them that you are on the "Do-Not-Call list" but they don't give a damn... the same person calls back fundraising for another organisation... it beats me why this isn't ILLEGAL?! i don't envy the caller but i think the whole thing is just WRONG. i get strange callers calling me 3 times in a row even when i tell them they've got the wrong number... i bet sometimes they are silly twats thinking it's fun to do prank calls... i was so upset one day i literally banged the darn phone receiver... and it's not the phone's fault! i hate how others bring the worst out of me. EVIL.

the climbing ivy on the red-bricked walls of the apartment building have extended their claws further than i have had time to notice... while scarring my view... they are providing lovely shade... i should maybe find some foldable chairs or a large picnic throw from IKEA so i could sit out in the lovely court-yard lawn... watch squirrels play catch... and the random fat hares prancing about... have a tea-party with the teddy-bears (?)... it is very green here in the twin-cities... i wish i could somehow fit a nice hilly range into its landscape and it might actually be quite splendid.

i got given many lovely things lately... a book of poems by Australian poet, Judith Wright, tiger-tee, CDs, peanut-butterscotch toffee treats, and David Mitchell's new book "BlackSwanGreen", which i am currently enjoying (although i cannot decide if i should have accepted the gift because under the 'social etiquette rules' in the employees 'code of conduct', which i cannot exactly remember, there are some clauses about gift-accepting and gift-giving between colleagues... hmm but a David Mitchell book should be allowed, no?! ) ... in any case, i very nearly bought "Ghostwritten" last summer when i was wandering in Waterstones, Edinburgh... but relocating always make me refrain from getting things... because you realise how much you already have! maybe i'll pick it up this summer... perhaps from the 1/2-priced bookstore round the corner from where i live!

it's a long weekend... but i should still get some work done... monday's memorial day... and i might actually get some driving practice on the RIGHT side in a colleague's car... i need to face my fears... this catch-22 business of driving is really not very helpful...

maybe life is an opportunity for us to fight our fears... like programming, driving, feeling trapped in a place or society (and therefore having to live as a nomad?)... and coping with awkward social situations... hmm.

yes, i should just finish up my ski-anecdotes.... i know!

posted by ~overacuppa~ on Saturday, 27 May, 2006 at 23:54 hrs