it's weird... how people cluster like sheep. i don't usually join in group gatherings... it's just not my type of thing. i like small intimate gatherings where people get to hear one another as they share their ideas and are really 'there' with you.
but i gave in today... because a sister of a friend i went to school with who's an undergrad here asked me along... and she's really sweet.
you enter the said flat where the gathering is held and a 'cacophonous' yet familiar singlish accent was there to welcome you and it seemed rather amusing to me... a chap K, born in London i presume, who grew up in singapore told me and my friend's sis, XY, that we spoilt his 'theory' of accents -- that you grow up with the accent you acquire from young. i sound like some mixed-up american-brit. something i'm not quite sure if i am fond of, given the acrimony stirred up by america and britain in this messed-up world. but in essence, i don't sound like my fellow 'comrades' -- guess i feel rather mixed-up ... i suppose everyone's different accents can arise dependent on the social contexts to which they have been exposed as well as the various social groups in which one mingles... yet some accents appear resilient to 'external' influences... i wonder if that has anything to do with imprinting... hmmmm
anyways the gathering decided to head to the pub after some time... it was quite an interesting observational 'outing' for moi... seems as though sometimes the overseas people are feeling the 'pressure' to fit into the local 'culture' of pub-going... likewise, it must be odd for the people here to see a hord of asians visiting what is usually a 'white'-dominated tavern. i wanted to get a pinacolada but the cocktail master (who K swears by) so happened not to be around when we went up to get our drinks. i got a lemonade instead; should've gotten a southern-comfort-lemonade which K got for XY... it's lovely. a scottish lad within the company got himself a guinness, yet proclaiming that he doesn't really drink... and that the dark stuff tastes really awful. it is rather bitter... and tastes like medicine to me. Adw (abbrev.), the scot, seemed rather comfy in the company of asians which struck me as a little odd. not that there is anything wrong with that... but i later gathered why.
growing up in britain must be a tough thing; social pressures to conform is high. i myself have seen it while i was here. my few experiences with the 'locals' in the pubs made it clear to me it wasn't something i'd really enjoy regularly. you can hardly hear the person you are supposed to be having a conversation with... and my poor nose and eyes suffer under the blury haze of tobacco haar (fog). thing is, alcohol is seen as the 'elixir' for those who attained the legal age... whilst in many other european lands, people grow up sipping and enjoying the skillfully brewed liquor and are able to appreciate it without getting 'wasted'. to fit in, one has to conform to some 'norms'... and often drinking is a social-bonding thing.
while i accept that it is part of the 'culture' here, i am sometimes somewhat disturbed by the social pressures that other 'non-locals' face. i do not think it is good to have to feel that one should join in to 'fit-in'. i think you do yourself the justice to try and see if you enjoy it. and make up your mind. i decided it's not my kind of thing or ethos. so while i'll occasionally join in going to the pub, i'd rather be myself and have a little something non-alcoholic. it isn't something that everyone will share, but Adw seem to have 'suffered' or perhaps endured the pressures... i was being too inquisitive really. but it's interesting. i told him i am both surprised and impressed; because sometimes it is most difficult to be who you are.
had good fun chatting to K, Adw, and XY. but as the rest adjourned to another venue, i decided i had enough of the groupy-thing and 'abandoned' the pack to head home to slumber-land.
posted by ~overacuppa~ on Sunday, 3 October, 2004 at 01:18 hrsInteresting points you make here. I'm a born Scot who lived there till around 22 (now 37) and am somewhat of an accent anomaly. In Canada, later, I often met retired people who'd come from Scotland in their 20's whose accents were stronger than any I ever heard at home. Yet my accent became tarnished almost as soon as I started to live abroad. It has gotten so rounded that people have trouble placing me . And yet I know full well why - I was simply embarrassed by the attention my accent garnered - seldom negative but too much attention for me nonetheless. In Germany, it was simply incomprehension, in Canada annd the US it was of the "wait, say that again, that's sooooo kiyyuutte!" variety. Either way, without taking a conscious decision, my accent changed. If I speak to a family member or go home, my own accent snaps back instantaneously but that defence-mechanism transatlantic monstrosity I have come to hate is there the rest of the time, whether among friends or otherwise.
On the drinking peer pressure issue - I don't see it as being any stronger in the UK than anywhere else, really. Drinking alcohol is a very, very popular social pastime here on earth - transcending cultural and social bounds, I'd say. Each decides for himself at any given point whether to accept or reject any percieved "pressure" to imbibe. The difference is in our self-confidence, as far as I can see it - some are more comfortable going along with the gang, taking a nip to fit in despite unfavourable outcome. Others are strong enough in their conviction that they are content in the corner with a glass of water, watching everyone else getting locked.
This "going with the gang" decision time is present in many other areas of our lives too from sports to holiday choices. A lot of people who don't drink for physical reasons (ie they get tight with a whiff ae the barman's apron), I find, actually WANT to drink like their more hard to intoxicate friends, and so drift again and again into messy situations just from a sort of "why not give it another try" mentality.
I would say that the percieved societal or peer pressure to drink in Scotland is less strong thnt here in Japan, for example (bosses can order their workers to go out on the town with him and get pissed without uttering a word!).
Outside factors like societal acceptance of the habit and heavy advertising also influence people, it cannot be denied, but people are just people at the end of the day eh? Each takes or leaves the "swally" more based on what his body will take than on any desire to look cool or anything vain like that, surely?
(I'm ready to be disagreed with here!)
hey Gaijin! great responses! although i suppose i am slightly biased in some of what i wrote -- i have only my 2 eyes and subjective experiences to rely on...
i suppose accents are rather personal things too, even if they manifest subconsciously... it's tied to one's identity/esteem somehow and on how one wants to be perceived, even if they are not conscious of it...
somehow drinking seems a more 'recent' thing in some parts of the world, although i cannot deny it's an ancient affair. you don't have as many spanky clubs or pubs before (or perhaps i was too young to know!) as you do now in singapore... and even then they don't have quite the same atmosphere. it's rather different again in the continent... i am afraid my experiences of pubs in Germany left the impression that people were more 'civilised'... but then again, it could be that we ended up entering a 'nice' pub... however, you don't see the rowdy drunkardness being played out on streets to the extent to which it endangers both drivers and pedestrians as you often see here. it's truly incomprehensible (to me)... and that is what i don't get.
Posted by: hrm on Tuesday, 5 October, 2004 at 11:52 hrs*Note: in case you were thinking of leaving a comment and the option isn't here anymore... it is because the comment section of each entry is closed after sometime to prevent malicious comments... if you are looking for the actual entry, type in the keyword(s) in the little box on the main page http://overacuppa.com where it says "fossicking pebbles & seashells" and press *search*... thank you for popping by and happy browsing!