it's almost a week since my parents left, and two since they've arrived to visit me here in Edinburgh. it was quite interesting for us (they and myself) to realise how much i have 'grown up'...and that i have an independent mind (of some sort) and that they needn't fuss over me....and that i need my space and yes, postgrads do have work to do even if they do not necessarily have or need to attend any classes... BUT it was also good to make myself take time out to be with my parents...to realise that they care and love me even if they do not always express themselves very well etc. it is tough i suppose, seeing yourself grow older, seeing ones children grow up, perhaps realising that there has been some lost time that one could never really reclaim, or episodes in other's life that one will never fully comprehend...
it's difficult growing up, and growing up in different places.
i am not so much chinese or asian nor am i english, or german or whatever. i feel like i am a mish-mash of cultures, beliefs and thus identity does not come easily. but it must be even harder for my parents to comprehend all that...but perhaps what is most difficult for any parent is to let go....we will always be our parents' kids, and i will always be the little girl...that never seem to ever grow up....oh bother...
Ooh, may may... my sentiments exactly everytime I return home. It's the real transition when they are physically present with you, they then see and feel the difference in the May now from when she was a little girl with 2 pigtails and bronzy braces. But it's great how opportunites like these allow you to bridge that gap before it gets wider. Change is always tough... but it sounds like you are doing great! As we grow up... our parents seem more like kids... have you felt that yet? I have :)
Posted by: Bunny on Thursday, 11 December, 2003 at 12:11 hrsheeyeee Bunny!!! so good to hear from you!
yes parents seem more and more like toddlers...rather worrying...yet endearing.
hmm ....should try to wear my pigtails again...
Posted by: hrm on Thursday, 11 December, 2003 at 14:31 hrsHey May, did your parents enjoy Edinburgh a lot? I'll bet they're really proud to see you in your environment and your element as an independent and brave postgrad student!
Do you ever regret that because of your experiences, identity doesn't come easily to you? I must say that your experiences are far richer than most others's, and a shifting identity is a small price to pay for the great life you've led. =)
Bunny, you're here too! You're everywhere!
Posted by: Van Heng on Friday, 12 December, 2003 at 16:15 hrsit's great to hear from all of you....makes tiggie bounce real high! zippy!
hmm i hope mummy and papa enjoyed their stay this time...it's quite different from graduation fanfare when they were the paparazzis (sp?) and i was quite a tourist-guide for them... but they explored some bits of the city on their own (royal botanical gardens, prince's street (shopping area--not suprising) etc.)...and we sampled some oriental restos...and i showed them Rennie Mackintosh's interior designs and architecture in Glasgow...mummy made fresh popiah at Ruth's (my lovely undergrad-uni-friend who's stayed on in Edinburgh) which is just a short walk away from Portobello beach....and i suppose it was good for papa to walk quite a bit... heee...i have a knack of making my parents walk alot when they visit me.... :C) it's healthy i suppose! heeee.... i did manage to cook them a meal on their last day here...grilled salmon served with some seasonal greens stir-fried asian style together with some rice (cooked without the rice cooker!)...and made some mulled wine too...just because it's winter/X'mas...
wrt identity...it's not really a feeling of regret...but more a realisation which isn't easy to come to terms with...it's slightly disconcerting but it is also quite a priviledged sort of situation... but it was quite a struggle because everyone seems to have a strong identity of where they come from...and i don't seem to so it does make one feel slightly odd...oh well.. we all cope somehow... :C)
bounce bounce...
Posted by: tiggie on Friday, 12 December, 2003 at 17:02 hrs*Note: in case you were thinking of leaving a comment and the option isn't here anymore... it is because the comment section of each entry is closed after sometime to prevent malicious comments... if you are looking for the actual entry, type in the keyword(s) in the little box on the main page http://overacuppa.com where it says "fossicking pebbles & seashells" and press *search*... thank you for popping by and happy browsing!