having lived away from the place i was born and spent most of my childhood for the last eight years, the concept of home or where that is, is becoming increasingly blurred and more abstract... this awareness is both fascinating as well as vexing. because tied to the concept of home is also that of one's identity, and the sense of belonging...
these days i find myself replying to acquaintances who ask where i come from that i am originally from Singapore but have spent some 6 years in Britain and am now in Germany. this answer will again be modified in Oct. when i move back to Edinburgh. but that aside, does where one live influences or alters one's perception of home? does being away from where you grow up changes for example, 1) the way you view the country you are from/the country you now reside? 2) the cultures you were accustomed to? 3) the perceptions or views you once had? 4) who you are? or 5) your self-identity? etc?.
in my case, i think it does in some unintended ways... and it occurs almost like an evolutionary process... i suppose i have grown to feel more international rather than national. yet, i appreciate being Chinese. however, i do find myself nitpicking various systems, comparing across countries... partly because i have grown to appreciate the merits of one and wish that the other could also adopt such a philosophy (e.g. recycling policies, educational systems), i bemoan about what i had to 'suffer' in one city while enjoying that which is non-existent in another (e.g. authentic Asian cuisine), i praise one for their people's attitude and condemn others for their indifference... it's as if i am a citizen of the world, rather than that of a particular country... a notion which i am quite fond of these days... i wish there were no international boundaries or barriers... and that we all lived happily with our various similarities and differences... then perhaps home might be an easier concept to define... (oh selfish me?!)
it is the dilemma of a privileged: home was originally one place but now it's almost like 4 or 5 places dotted across the world... and at times i find myself feeling lost as i don't know where home is... bizarre isn't it? ... yet, what still seems true to me is that
How apt these three lines are. Perfect, lovely lines. Exactly how I feel.
Posted by: Van Heng on Saturday, 30 August, 2003 at 03:54 hrsI like this site. It's a terrible pity you appear to have abandoned it. I found it by accident whilst researching an article on Muro Saisei. I'm a Scot currently living in his home town of Kanazawa, Ishikawa, Japan.
There's a hint of irony to my finding my favourite words by him yet in a site written by someone from Singapore living in Germany on their way to Edinburgh!
(I incidentally lived in Germany for several years before coming here.)
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